2007-05-31 - 9:58 p.m.
In elementary school art class, back when there actually was such a thing (remember where I went to school), I was doing a sculpture out of clay one day. And by sculpture, i mean loosely molded lumps of clay that at best vaguely resembled what they were supposed to depict. I was trying to sculpt myself with a basketball (egotistical at an early age) and I remember that while I knew and accepted in advance that the "me" part was going to be terrible, I wanted to at least try to make the ball look good. I rolled and rolled the ball, trying to make it into a perfect sphere. I remember getting frustrated because every time I would pull my thumb over one bumpy part, it would smooth that part out, but then it would push another part into the wrong shape. I remember wishing i wasn't so damn clumsy so i could just make the whole thing smooth all at once.
So basically, what I'm saying is that since I knew I would never be able to write a better opening sentence than what i did last time, so i decided to go the opposite route and open with the most boring story i could ever possibly write to guarantee that you won't care. How'd i do? It's really my own fault- I was gonna take advantage of recent events to open by crowing over the fact that jerry falwell is dead, but it's been too long. the news is long past enough that figuratively pissing on his grave would be in the wrong kind of poor taste, the kind that's just lame. So i'll have to settle for doing it literally one day, if I'm lucky.
I was also going to do some big thing about the 30th anniversary of star wars being released this past weekend, but since it's thursday, again, i've missed the boat on that. great ideas, but a little too late to be relevant. that should be my epitath.
Training is done. I finally got the hell out of tennessee for the last time in the forseeable future. nate, i mean no offense to you when i say this, because you are an exception and i love you like a brother, but damn...i fucking hate rednecks. this is a situation that will be compounded this weekend, because there will be auto races this weekend on both saturday and sunday, and nothing brings folks with as many teeth as braincells out of the woodwork like watching cars drive in a circle.
"Dang jethro...if we watch them cars long enough, one of 'em might done turn right...I can't wait ta hears what larry the cable guy'd say 'bout that! it'd be a hoot!"
that was mean. rude. arrogant. I miss that. I think i'm primed for another heel turn. Keeps the character fresh...
Yeah, that's right...I just trashed rednecks and auto racing in one paragraph, then turned around and made a wrestling reference in the very next one. Doc Holliday's hypocrisy has nothing on mine.
see, the problem is, i know too much and i'm letting it affect how i operate. i promised myself i'd never do that. i've got to make a concerted effort to get back to basics.
Job is going decent. That part is smooth. unfortunately my trainer is some kind of sadistic monster (and yet also a fun person to be around) because she insists on starting at 6:30. most days that's not such a big deal, cause 3 days this week i've been at the hospital nearest to my house, but yesterday I had to go to one all the way the hell across town and had to get out the door by 5:15 inorder to make it there by 6:30.
"well it's one more day me johnny
One more day..."
after tomorrow i get to start setting my own hours, anytime before 8. Then i'll be less tired.
So to recap...tomorrow night involves drinking copious enough to knock me out most of saturday morning so i can get a decent amount of sleep. then i'm up for anything this weekend so long as it gets me the hell out of the house. All redneck bashing aside, i was here at the house one day when an indy car was doing test laps at the track...we're close enough to make it sound like a plane is flying by overhead the whole time. i shudder to think what the noise will be like when it's 30 of the little bastards. so, wisconsin...who wants to hang out this weekend? come on, i've been in tennessee for three weeks and RAM jobbing it up all this week. you know you've missed me.
Somtimes it seems to me as if my conversations with people all seem to revolve around a central theme. this weeks has been regret. even the conversations that don't seem to be about regret turn out to actually be so after i think about them for a bit. it makes me sad, both because i feel bad for my friends regrets, and because it makes me think too much about my own. And how i know i am a regret to some people. It's ok though. I keep reminding myself of the parts i wouldn't take back even if i could.
geez...even studio 60 is dark and depressing. damn. I need to go to bed.
Ken
If today the sun should set on all my hopes and cares
There is one smiling face the gods would see
cus shell walk along beside me up the golden stairs
No, theyll never never take her love from me.
What a fool I was to go and break the trust she gave
And see her love turn into sympathy
Its the one regret Ill carry with me to my grave
Oh, theyll never ever take her love from me.
Im so thankful for each golden hour of happiness
That we shared together in the used to be
Someone elses arms may hold her now in fond caress
But theyll never never take her love from me.
I thought Id make her happy if I stepped aside
But I knew her love would never set me free
And even on the morning she became anothers bride
I said theyll never never take her love from me.
�
