2002-08-22 - 9:31 a.m.
"Tric- I'd be pissed if I went all the way through Tough Enough and the only job I could get was showing my tits.
Me- Women aren't really good for much else.
BT- And breedin' Ken, don't forget breedin'."
I've been thinking a lot for the last few months. And I've decided that I'm ready.
What for?
To sell out, baby!
As we grow older we inevitably turn into Republicans. We become more conservative, we embrace the status quo as a worthwhile value system.
That's why Mom, who staunchly defended Elvis Presley's worth as a musician and not just a shock act, still rolls her eyes when you try to explain to her that Eminem is actually really good.
It happens to everyone, you have to understand. It's a result of living in a majority rule society, as we discussed earlier in de Tocqueville's essay.
One day or another, we just cave, because it's not feasible to hold a dissenting opinion around here. It becomes too hard. So we give up, and we decide to conform, no matter how hard we swore we never would. Even guys like Wej and Jon will one day grow up, wear suits and ties, work a 9-5 office job, marry, have 2.4 kids and a house in suburbia. We'll all complain about the clothes our kids wear, and how they don't respect their elders like we did when we were that age, and one day we all wake up and find we've turned into Bob Dole. That Dubya isn't such a bad guy, even if he is a little slow, and that anyway we shouldn't think about it too long or we'll miss that delightful Ray Romano.
And it's not that there is no fun in this life. More financial security. Instead of worrying about making rent or buying food this week, you fret about the stock options your company is offering or whether you can afford that boat, or have to settle for another Florida vacation this year.
You don't have to give up drugs, you just graduate from passing a pipe around in your dorm room to cocaine in the bathroom with the guys from the office.
Casual extramarital sex is still an option. Just keep it quiet and make sure it's with your secretary or a reliable hooker, and not some rolling Yak you just picked up at a rave.
I'm ready for that, I've decided. I'm ready to stop reading Wizard and start reading Entertainment Weekly.
I'm ready to stop being me, because being me blows (not that the rest of you have it any different, but maybe you aren't tired of it yet)
Ken Dillon is a loser who can't keep a relationship for longer than 4 months.
Ken Dillon is a man with a dismal looking future because he's invested all his effort in dreams that can't possibly come true.
I'm tired of trying, is what I'm trying to say, I guess. I never tried to change the world, just to do what I wanted. And that's not working out so well, so I quit.
I'm ready to change. I'm ready to stop thinking for myself, and start thinking what mass media tells me to think.
I'm ready to get conservative. I'm ready to stop being different and go mainstream.
I'm ready to sell my soul for a good medical/dental benefit package and a 401K.
Someone find me a buyer.
I wanna be assimilated.
Ken
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