2001-02-19 - 02:38:02
I met a bunch of prospectives this weekend. You know what my college needs more of? Football players. We absolutely need more farm-bred, whitebread, no-neck, dumb-as-all-hell ex-wrestler, ex-football players at Ripon College. I think the college should send word to the factory to stamp out two or three hundred more of these people with the cookie-cutter so that they can constitute next year's freshman class. ANd two or three hundred Wisconsinite women who think that the abovementioned male is the ideal human being.
Celebrating diversity, my fat @$$. A college with around 820 students, and all but about a hundred of them fit one of the two stereotypes I've just mentioned. And damn near every would-be-freshman who gets invited out to visit here is also exactly like that.
To those of you who are reading this who are Riponites who don't fit either of those two molds,you know exactly what I mean. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart for not being exactly like everyone else. I'll make sure to evacuate you all before I drop the bomb on this miserable, homogenized little dump of a college.
Okay, I feel better now. Wow, I've never really realized before exactly how much work puts me into bad mood. There were always customers there last night. I hate that. But you've already heard my rant on how pathetic one must be if the high point of their evening is going to the rec center to play pool at 9pm on a Saturday evening. I'm there cause they pay me. What's your excuse?
My dad drove himself to his doctor's appointment on Friday afternoon, shocking the hell out of the doctors. He also weighs in at around 160 pounds, which gives me hope. I feel less fat when my dad outweighs me, cause he's shorter than I am. So if he can just keep gaining weight, we'll both be happy, cause then I can use his being bigger than I am as a way to keep from seeing myself as the fat slob I really am.
My sister got pulled over this weekend. In a rental car. And she's only 17. And she mouthed off to the policeman. She's now facing a mandatory court appearance with a fourth degree felony charge. Minimun fine of around $300. My sister is brilliant. It runs in the family.
Why does life seem to suck so much for everyone these days? What is it about the winter months that makes everyone sick and/or depressed? It's not like Wisconsin is suffering from one of those long periods with no sunlight, like Alaska does. We get sun. We should be happier. But everyone, including myself, is lethargic and sickly. And coughing. A lot. I can't wait for spring.
People got really drunk on Friday night, after bowling. I had a beer or so, but that was it. Some people were really starting to reach that "I'm so drunk that I"m going to be mortified at what/who I've just done when I wake up tomorrow morning" level of drunkenness. People I wouldn't have expected to reach that level. And sure enough, things got broken, people did things they shouldn't, people who were drunk got taken advantage of, and the next day, everyone felt bed.
I have no sympathy. YEah, drinking affects your mind. Yeah, your judgement is impaired. Yeah, you'll do things you'll regret. But you chose to get drunk. And in doing so, you acknowledge the possibility that all kinds of horrible things can come from that.
Not like I'm one to talk. I get really ripping drunk from time to time. And I have no problem with drinking. Just grow up about it. I have never done anything drunk that I wouldn't do sober.
Once, while drunk, I swore that when the warm weather came, I would go to school in my underwear all day.
And I did.
A full day's worth of classes.
In just boxers and a t-shirt.
No shoes.
No pants.
No socks.
Through three classes.
And lunch.
In the public cafeteria.
All the while, just being a misstep away from showing the world that I'm really not lying when I proudly proclaim that the wrestling term "small package" could have been named after me. (A small package, by the way, is a tie-up used to pin your opponents shoulders to the mat by using his own body weight, in conjunction with gravity, to leave him with no leverage and no way to kick out. If properly applied, a small package causes your opponent's entire body weight to be resting squarely on his shoulders and neck, with you denying him use of his legs to get out of it. If properly applied, your opponent, no matter his size or strength, cannot get up until you decide to let him. So if you see somebody kick out of a small package in the WWF, remember that it's cause the other guy let him up.)
Okay, enough wrestling trivia. I'm going to go do.....something else.
Ken
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