2009-12-15 - 9:34 p.m.
The weird now goes beyond my time in bed and into my sleep itself....
Saturday Night-
Knight In Simmons Service
The Setting- A high school auditorium.
The Influences I Blame- Lots of discussions about music, the show, oh, and the big-gulp sized glass of Jack Daniels I had at the bar afterward.
The Dream-
I went to a KISS concert with Paul. DOn't ask why. I don't even like KISS very much. They do that one song, Strutter, that's all right, and also...actually that's the only KISS song I like, but whatever. As far as I know, Paul's not a KISS fan either, and apparently no one else is in the world of this dream because, as noted above, the concert is in a high school auditorium that seats maybe 300 people. It's a full house though! Standing room only.
Ace Frehley is nowhere to be found onstage, and so Gene Simmons comes down into the crowd, hands me a guitar, and tells me I'm going to play Rock & Roll All Night with the band.
This isn't just any guitar, either, but a Rickenbacker 12 string, which is totally what the situation calls for. Keep in mind that I don't know how to play the guitar. Not just in real life, but also IN THE DREAM. And I know this. Showman that I am, though, I decide to go for it. Peter Criss counts it in and I start strumming like a madman. I don't even bother taking the stage, I'm just in the middle of a suprisingly rocking crowd doing the best I can. And lo and behold, I actually play a song!
And by actually play, I mean in the "Million monkeys at a million typewriters making Hamlet" type way, not in the sense that I suddenly knew what I was doing. I was there, pressing frets and random and strumming when I felt like it, and an honest to God guitar riff came out. It was not; however, Rock & Roll All Night, but the opening guitar riff to Wind It Up by Barenaked Ladies. I was the only person who noticed, though. The rest of the band and the crowd all thought it sounded perfect and the song proceeded as normal, which in the dream was nothing like the way the actual song sounds anyway. Paul, in the dream some kind of expert on KISS, was at my side as we somehow teleported onstage with the rest of the band, and he would shout directions in my ear as the song progressed, helpful directions like "It's time for the bridge now!" and "Play a solo!" and "Ok, your solo's over!"
Again, my "flail randomly at the fretboard" technique produced a hell of a solo on that old 12-string, which, by the way, had 11 strings more than I needed to actually play said solo.
The song was a triumph and the crowd went nuts. Then the band announced Strutter was next, and I got excited to play a song I actually like, when Ace Frehley showed up, in his street clothes and no make up, pointing a .44 magnum at me and demanding his guitar back. He wasn't mad at me, though- turns out it was a plot by the rest of the band to shut him out of doing the concert by locking him away someplace. Since he wasn't going to shoot me, I did want any good showman would, and pretended it was part of the show, kneeling and offering up the guitar to Ace like a prayer to a rock god, only instead of a rock god it was the lead guitarist for a shitty band with inexplicable popularity.
Ace proceeded to notice a scratch on his guitar and throw a hissy fit at the rest of the band for "throwing his guitar down", and paul and i retreated back to the crowd, just in time for the band to declare the show was over after one song. As the crowd files to the exits I pause to take out my contacts, only to discover they were already in my lens case...and in my eyes at the same time, leading me to wonder which pair is mine and which is a horrible mistake. That's where the dream ends.
Sunday Night-
Never Underestimate the Power of the Elderly
The setting- East Mapes in Ripon, which has been remodeled to look like a Target. Hey, it's a dream, ok?
The Influences I Blame- Um....going to K-Mart, thinking too much and making hard decisions, and playing Gears of War 2 Horde Mode before bed.
The Dream-
Momich and Nate do something stupid and cause an electrical fire to start up in the library. I don't know specifically what it was they did, I am just assuming it was something stupid because it was something Momich and Nate were collaborating on. Now, though the fire is in its early stages, it is known by everyone present that it will follow certain rules. You know, how your dream worlds sometimes have laws you can't explain but that it adheres to? Ones that make no sense in real life? Like the fact that it looks liek a Target but it's East Mapes and everyone in the dream accepts that it's East Mapes? So the rules for the fire are thus-
1. It can't be put out, and the Fire Department won't show up until after it's burned itself out anyway.
2. It will only gut the libarary and not spread anywhere else
3. It will spread very slowly. Insanely slowly, but once it spreads to an area it'll burn like a normal blaze. The spread will be slow enough, though, to allow valuables to be rushed out of the building so they won't burn up.
4. Though many able-bodied (and far younger and fitter) people are present, the only two people who can go into the library to actually pull things out to save are me and Pete. ANd we have to do it quickly, despite the slow spread of the fire.
So we do. Pete and I wear ourselves out making run after run into a burning library to save every object of any sentimental value to anyone that is stored there. First we get the important stuff that's highly valued (no specifics), then the things that are kinda important to some people, then the stuff that people would like to be able to keep if it's not too much trouble, and finally we are down to a level where Pete and I are running back in for another armload of stuff because "well, those packages of paper plates on the table are perfectly good, and paper plates ain't free, you know."
For those wondering, yes, it's exactly like that Simpsons episode where Jose Canseco keeps running back into the burning building to save that woman, then her kids, then her pets, then her furniture, etc....
Finally, after what seems like 20 hours of running things out of the building, the fire has spread too far and the few things that are left are consigned to the ashes. The assembly stands, conveniently on the front steps of East Mapes Target, right by the auto doors, and watches the library burn, already planning how best to clean up and remodel. Pete vanishes, probably to wash the smoke out of his lungs and sleep for a year or so like I want to do, and Krista strolls up to me, smiles, and gives me a kiss, then slips a piece of paper into my shirt pocket.
"It's my phone number. In case you want to give me a call sometime."
And I will never forget what I said in response, no matter what else I do forget about this dream.
"Um...I already have your phone number. But I appreciate the sentiment."
ANd that's when my alarm clock went off.
-Ken
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