2007-12-17 - 9:48 p.m.
I have no grabber to open this up. Ah well, they can't all be winners. I'ma ctually a little upset with myself for letting it go so long...kept putting it off and putting it off. Admittedly, i've been mighty busy with all kinds of various things, none of which i will disclose because i wnat to cling to whatever small shreds of respect anyone out there might still have for me. But i will say that the biggest thing that's been taking up my time is the new socks i bought. yeah, that's it.
"Optimus Prime's default setting is Totally Awesome. Optimus Prime's only setting is his default setting."
I had a really awesome audition on saturday. I doubt i will get the part because, as young as i look for my age, i do not look like a high school student when i stand next to an ACTUAL high school student, although the fact that I can actually read may work in my favor. we'll see. That's not the important part of the audition anyway.
Those of you who are human beings (that is to say, you are in my phone) got this as a text on saturday anyway (yes, I text the same thing to massive numbers of people at the same time. at least theyre not stupid forward. I just do it because i get a kick out of seeing how each person responds. I'ma jerk, and i use you all to entertain me on long bus rides. deal with it.)
Bus trip: $4.00
Lunch: $8.00
Being the only straight male at an audition full of guys when one of them has brought his hot female friend along for emotional support: Priceless.
Now, with a setup like that you'd think i'd be able to manage at least a phone number, and you would be completely wrong. I suck.
She was duly impressed by my talent, though, and although that is to be expected, it counts for something when I'm sleeping all alone on a freezing winter night. Seriously. I swear it does. I just don't know what yet. If i ever figure it out i'll let you know.
I totally support the writer's strike. the terrible working conditions are the reason hollywood cranks out an ever increasing amount of crap of ever diminishing quality with each passing year. yeah more money and a dental plan for the writers and suddenly Cavemen will become the greatest sitcom ever. i would say that everyone involved can go fornicate themselves, but this strike has taken jay leno off the air, so it's just about even.
i gave darlene syphillis on saturday night. CRAP! That should have been the opener! what the hell is wrong with me? how could i have forgotten that?
Ok, pretend this entry started with me giving darlene syphillis. It was my gift for pete's naughty holiday party gift exchange- a plush stuffed syphillis microbe (they had that, or hepatitis C readily available, though I'm pondering ordering the flesh eating virus for myself. the little guy looks so cute with a knife and a fork in his hands...makes me want to adopt this virus and take it home.) darlene drew here number and lo and behold, she gets syphillis from me. What did i get? a rug burn prevention kit. No lie. Half of you are wondering why that would be funny, and the other half are laughing your asses off at that, I can tell. it got a good laugh at the party.
*Sports break....Tarvarius Jackson just threw a truly awful interception to nathan vasher of the bears, and as a thank you for giving his team the ball, brian urlacher just damn near killed jackson with a massive block during the runback. awesome*
In yet another example of how the creepiest random strangers seem to feel like i'm their best friend. There's this guy who rides teh same bus i take home, and he's been riding that route pretty much the entire time i've been taking it home, so i've seen him every day for several months now, and he always struck me as being a reasonable enough fellow. i started talking to this dude on the bus last week when the only available seat was next to him and he struck up a conversation, and he seemed like an interesting enough person- works as a blacksmith, into the ren faire (so even though I'm not, i could hold up my end of a conversation, and that helps the time go faster.) Usually I abhor talking to the people on the bus because they're all morons, and that's why i bring my headphones, so to have a decent talk with someone was actually a refreshing change of pace. we get off at the same stop, "I'm rob by the way" "I'm ken" we shake hands, "see ya tomorrow" and we go our separate ways. seems fair enough, and i think i could even stand to sit through another conversation with this guy again.
Then on Monday...
"Hey Kenny" (odd trend- i still introduce myself to people i meet for the first time as Ken, but an alarming number of them lately have begun to call me kenny without checking to see if it's ok with me first. this is sad, mainly because i use the name somoe addresses me by to help determine from which era of my life i know that person, which is very useful when you get a phone call from an umber you don't recognize and have no idea who is talking to you)
"Hey rob. how was your weekend?"
"Not good."
"what happened?"
"oh, my girlfriend and i broke up. she went out on sunday and i cleaned the house, as usual. she doesn't do shit around the house. I do all the cooking, i do all teh cleaning, i do everything."
"and you dumped her for being lazy?"
"no, she owns the house, so i'm willing to compromise on that because i don't have to pay a lot in rent. but after i cleaned, i watched the packer game, and I did my usual routine of drinking 3 beers during the game, but I also hav ea tradition where every time the packers score i do a shot. and i was tired, so i drifted off during the fourth quarter, and that was when she came home."
Now, while my spider-sense started tingling when he started freely discussing how he likes to drink a ridonkulous amount during packer games, i really don't see why his girlfriend would be so pissed at finding him drunk and passed out on the couch in front of a football game. that sounds like sunday afternoon at half the families in america to me.
"so she yelled at me for passing out, and i tried to explain that i was jsut tired but she wouldn't believe me, one thing led to another, and then we're broken up."
"but you still live together?"
"yeah. I can sleep in the other bedroom and like I said, i'm getting such a great deal on rent that i don't want to move out just yet. i can deal with her for awhile. I just can't believe she'd be bitchy like that after i cleaned her house for her YET AGAIN."
"yeah, i hear you rob. I know what that's like. my roommates aren't slobs, but neither one of them is very neat and tidy, and they're both pretty lazy, so i usually wind up doing most of the housework, and soemtimes it pisses me off. I could probably afford to live alone but we're getting such a great deal on rent that i'd rather put up with the aggravation and save the money. I've got comics to buy, you know?"
"yeah. well, i tell you what- i wouldn't mind paying an extra few bucks a month to be away from her, as long as it's not too much..."
he paused for a second here and i thought he was done. boy, was i wrong.
"so if you guys were to kick out the laziest, slobbiest roommate, i'd be totally cool with just moving in there."
To my credit, i kept my jaw off the floor and actually stumbled my way through the rest of that conversation, but the whole time i was thinking "WTF? IS this guy serious?"
I've had some creepy weird people come up to me randomly and tell me all kinds of fucked up stuff. I've been asked for about 800 cigarettes. I've had a man tell me i'm a big guy and he'd hate to have to try to rob me, i had a girl tell me i had really pretty hair, i had some kid just blurt out how he'd gotten suspended from school recently and ask me to pray for him, i had some guy tell me how he got an autographed photo of a professional bowler, i've had a guy tell me about working at foot locker, i've had a guy ask me if i like video games and start telling me how awesome COD4 is without even giving me a half second to answer, but i have NEVER....EEEEVER had someone i've shared a grand total of 30 minutes of conversation with suggest that we become roomates. i avoided that bus for the rest of the week, staying at work late and taking the next bus on purpose just so i didn't have ot talk to this guy again.
seriously. I'm rude enough to people on a regular basis. you all know that. how is it that the guy with the stern frown on his face, the headphones on his ears, and his nose buried in a book the entire time just seems to scream to people, "Hey, talk to me and tell me whatever random crap is on yoru mind right now! I'm here to listen!"
i think i'm going to have start being more actively rude to these people. screw writing more regularly- my singular resolution to myself is that the next total stranger who tries to tell me anything i'm not interested in hearing, unless they are leaking blood from multiple wounds, is going to get to hear all about what's on my mind these days.
Ken
I could fall asleep for you my girl but it's not enough
And the scenes of your last visit lie buried in the dust
If I don't fall in love with you my girl, please understand
I'll go find another county and leave it in the end
I've seen forty-seven pictures all with you upon the face
From the noise I'm making running is a secondary pace
From the scenes of your last visit I still feel it where we touched
Where you cost me too much
Oh the time I spent with you my girl was all in vain
Waiting out the rapids we can't escape the pain
If I fall in love with you my girl it'll never end
And the sky will likely open raining holocaust and Zen
On the west side of the forest on a highway in the sun
Stands a pointless individual who knows his time has come
Though I know it's nothing funny
I'm still howling like a lush
'Cause you cost me too much
It's the same in here
Nothing's changed yet my dear
Oh if I had known to know you well
Lock us up in a sinners hell for days
If I don't fall in love with you my girl, please understand
I'll go find another city and leave it in the end
If I run away with you my girl please try to see
I'll do all I can to please you
But I don't expect you'll be
On the highest roof around me where I'm feeling pretty dumb
I scan on the horizon for the other dumbshits as they come
I'm' growing older faster
Still howling like a lush
'Cause you cost me too much
�
