2007-07-31 - 9:44 p.m.
Fueled by diphenhydramine, I am unstoppable till I get tired.
I have a guitar pick autographed by Robin Wilson, and *hopefully* (dear god, did I just use a set of asterisks to emphasize something I'd have wanted to italicize? I am turning into a teenage girl. Definitely gotta learn the old HTML one of these days, and to those of you who have so kindly left me instructions on how to do things like that over the years...it's just not taking. Sorry guys. I appreciate the help, but I'm gonna have figure it out myself or not at all. (metaphor for my life? could be. Double parenthetical? definitely.))
where was I? Oh yeah, I told Robin Wilson it was my birthday, which is easy to do from the front row center of a concert, and he autographed a guitar pick for me. If all is as it should be, I should also have access to a voicemail recording of him singing Long Time Gone (not into my voicemail, into G's, but using my phone, so morer awesomer)
I'm glad I had my fun last week and my body decided to let me be well for those few shinging days, cause I'm sick again now. Work sucked, and thus the word of the day is...
Bleh. Bleh on work, my body, and you, cause you're a stupid c-word...
Heh...a word starting with the letter C will never be the word of the day. Cause you know why?
The hell with the letter C. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, making it more useless than war (war solved the problem of those uppity carthagenians, so it is good for something)
Seriously....what does C bring to the table? What sound(s) are characterized by the letter C? There's the soft C "cider" (likely spiked, which is why the c is soft), and the hard C "Cat" (synonymous with ?)
Well, Mr. C, that's quite a beefy resume you have there...a consonant with two different sounds? that's almost too good to be true...except I could just as easily have S and K cover the workload..."Sider" "Kat" works just as easily. Thus you, C, are extraneous to my life.
Also, consider this little tidbit...what else can a C be?
If you guessed a Roman Numeral, congratulations, you're not too stupid to live! C is the number 100....
But C, your inclusion in the alphabet makes it 26 letters...meaning that as long as you're in the alphabet, that alphabet can never achieve any kind of beautiful numeric symmetry with the NUMBER YOU ARE REPRESENTATIVE OF! Talk about poisoning your own well. I suppose that's the kind of thing I should expect from a sawed-off O. And don't go trying to shift the stigma of Crappiest Letter Ever onto Y. Y is a valued member of this team, a switch hitter who does double duty, solid as a consanant and is always coming through for us in the clutch as a vowel "Cry, Fly, Try, Ply" His average with consonants in scoring position is 1.0000...what's yours? Leave the Y alone, his more than just a T with rickets...
You really can turn anything with a baseball metaphor with just a little bit of imagination.
Shut up. Just shut up. That's all I want from you at this point, is just a little bit of quiet. stop talking. For some reason, I'm a "good listener" KC once told me that that was probably why girls tended to like me, was simply that I was willing to let them talk about whatever they felt like talking about and only rarely said "stop talkinga bout that" or making it too obvious I was only humoring them.
Well, being a good listener isn't all that hard, all it takes is a long supply of patience and the ability to not give into the temptation to take two rollerball pens and push one into each ear until they meet in the middle.
"Ken, we've been talking so long, and I feel as if I hardly know anything about you..."
Well, that would be because you don't know anything about me, and guess why that is? Becuase you never ceased all the incessant garbage flow coming out of your mouth about all your lameass opinions and stupid/ignorant/evil crap you've done/plan to do/wish you hadn't done/are being a drama queen about long enough to find out anything about me, and you'r enot going to, either, dumbass (not to be confused with Dumbass, who knows plenty about me. Enough, were he so inclined, to prevent me from ever holding political office if he decided I shouldn't. Unless we were running mates. Hmm...I turn 35 in '15..'16 is an election year...what do you think, B? Dumbass/Rugburn in '16? you can be the president, and I promise not to LBJ your ass to assume power. I'm perfectly ocntent to do very little but break ties in the senate and shoot old rich white men in the face with quail guns, as Cheney has taught me to do...you, you're probably more adept at the kind of shooting in the face Clinton taught us to do anyway, so you're a better fit for the oval office (one of these days i'm gonna try to go for an octuple entendre, and I hope nothing explodes when I do. The problem is the more en in your tendre, the less subtle it can be, by nature) anyway, think about it)
You're not going to because the more I listen to all the stupid garbage that comes out of your mouth, the more i hate you with every fiber of my being and the less inclined i am to share anything of me with you. I don't really follow the teachings of any religious text, but the Bible did have a good line that stuck with me through the years about not casting your pearls before swine (unlike clinton...zing! i write to amuse myself. get over it)
Am I a pearl? well, no, not outside my own mind, but there's only a select few that get into my inner circle and really know much of anything about me, and the reason for that is that the rest of you aren't worth the fucking effort to do so or the cost when you inevitably let me down, so no, i'm not being deliberately mysterious to getyou intrigued by me, i'm holding you at arm's length because i've already decided you're ocmpltely useless and i'm simply too polite to tell you to shut the fuck up.
until this moment. Shut the fuck up.
Denis leary references will result in you getting pummeled mercilessly. at least i admit i steal every good joke i've ever had.
Ken
and you're right, kim, you're not old. I'm not really either, i just got tired from being young.
I didn't ask for this
I couldn't ask for that
I wouldn't ask for any change in plans
Am I ever right?
When you're such a brat
I feel much better in your hands
Try to take your word
I want to take you down
You never caught me lying
I'm trying not to shout
Wanna work it out
I've been so long denying
I'm a long time gone
Keeping your secrets for too long
Baby you ain't half of what you used to be
In this dim October sky
I've got no more tears left to cry
And I'm finally learning
You can't be too strong
I'm a long time gone
When you understand
There's no one truth
And we're three-thousand miles apart
Try and act your age
In your flaming youth
You seek the end
But never start
If I'm a man
Do I have the strengh
To change what I'm becoming
I've been such a fool
Didn't want to lose
It's been a long time coming
I'm a long time gone
Keeping your secrets for too long
Baby you ain't half of what you used to be
In this dim October sky
I've got no more tears left to cry
And I'm finally learning
You can't be too strong
I'm a long time gone
Keeping your secrets for too long
Baby you ain't half of what you used to be
In this dim October sky
I've got no more tears left to cry
And I'm finally learning
You can't be too strong
I'm a long time gone
�
