2006-03-18 - 12:53 a.m.
ha HA! I have swerved you bitches! here I am with an update less than 48 hours after asserting that you wouldn't be hearing from me for awhile. In some circles they may call that merely lying, but I prefer to think of it as having a merry old time absolutely pulling the wool over your eyes because, admit it, you all believed it! See, now that i've established such an erratic pattern (will he or won't he?) you can't believe anything about me anymore! you never know what i'm gonna do next! I am absolutely unreliable!
Well...to be fair, i was absolutely unreliable to begin with, but there was a certain reliability in my unreliability. Now you can't even rely on that anymore.
"I was surprised at how incredibly fast you were
to come up and ask for a light
I was amazed at just how matter of fact you were
in taking me back for the night
I only crave the sugar on the pill
I hope that you will
Trust me, trust me
To let you down,
You know that somebody got there first
Trust me, trust me
To let you down,
My fingers crossed while my lips are pursed
Trust me,
I don't know where I'm going,
you can drop me there"
-Barenaked Ladies "Trust Me"
that song also has the greatest line ever- "The Holy Trinity are there in your purse/A condom, Obsession, and mace"
techinally that's t2o lines, but i am digressing. and i've had it up to here with editing even the most retardacious of mistakes out of this, so i'm not gonna do it anymore. of course, that could aslo have a bit to do with the fact that i'm properly inebriated right now.
Crap. i didn't start this till after midngith. sad. I had a hell of a st. patrick's day, although apparently that was topped by the rest of my family in sheer revelry at the kegger. i had to settle for a couple irish car bombs in my kitchen and not hearing from the people iw as supposed to hook up with later tonight. and by "later" i mean "we made plans at work to maybe get together to do some stuff after about 10 or so." and since it's now 12:13 and some kinda seconds, i can safely asume that's not goina happen.
I oughta keep typing, i'm on the verge of inventing my own language.
as much as my liver is gonna hate me in the morning i'm glad i got in some drinking practice before next week, becasue I am definitely ognna NEED drinks at formal, and tonight while tryign to do an irish carbomb i reflexively inhaled and wound up snarfing guiness outof my nose. and yes, amanda, it was cold guiness. i'm only half irish, all right? and i'm a bit rusty, which is why everything smells like beer to me right now. at least id idn't get any on my shirt, unlike last time.
apparently i have been deemed too hairy to be a bridesmaid. Fuck that. I'm cute in a dress. speaking of which- billy, ixnay on the studmuffin talk in public like that. you want your wife to find out? she'd hit the ceiling.
How do you get an *Irishman* out of a tree? Cut the rope!
figured i'd go with one last tasteless one for the holiday gone by.and a joke, too.
i'm yawning those really deeps kinda yawns right now that are usually associated with some sort of extreme cold conditions. I think i actually sprained something with that last one.
"I'm sure you'll be all right"
Yeah, you're sure about that. You're not the one who got the rug pulled out from under you.
Things really do come full circle, I guess. One burden replaces another and all that kinda stuff. It's funny, when i started this entry i almost said the hell with it all and just started doing some kind of stream of consciousness type of brain splatter. i tried that once before and it came out all depressing, at least according to wej. this one isn't really turning out to be any more coherent, although it is turing out to be a whole lot more typo-licious and of decidedly lower quality, althought hat is to be expected these days, since the magic left me long ago in many ways and i'm just sorta sitting here trying to make something out of nothing, again in many ways, except for those times when i'm trying to make nothing out of something which you'd think would be easier but really isn't, though it's also not necessarily harder, per se, just different, but both require far more skill than i am capable of managing right now because it does seem as if the part of my brain that used to be good at this kind of thing has atrohied for some reason i can't begin to fathom although I will use the Bush administration as a convenient scapegoat because it probably is their fault anyway given that i've been doing this for bascially the entire term in office and it's gettind decidedly worse with each passing year and even if it's not a direct cause, it has to be at least considered an indrect one given that they are responsible for roughly 80% of all that is currenltly wrong with everything everywehre anyway so why not just pile this on too since no one wil notice and those that do happen to notice either wont' care or will flat out agree with me anyway?
even though i'm probably wrong, there's a part of me deep down inside that's convinced that that sentence is still technically grammatically correct and not a run on. don't tell me one way or another. if i want to know that badly, i'll find out on my own. i don't need you spoiling my fun anymore than you already do merely by existing.
ah, who am i kidding? i can't work up the rage to even abuse you idiots much anymore. a little alcohol put that fire out.
yeesh. damn near dislocated my jaw on tha tlast yawn. i've noticed lately that my right eyelid twitches involuntarily at random points during the day but especially when i first wake up and when i'm really tired right before bed. it gets hard to focus on things. the strange part is that it's the left eye that's actually going blind on me.
hey, i refrained from drunken despondency anywhere else in the world all night tonight. i'm allowed to wallow some right here right before bed. it's good for the hair.
ten minutes have now elapsed since i wrote tha tlast sentence. i'm dozing in my chair, and that's despite the noise of paul playing on brooks computer right behind me (we're party animals- a night of video games with me drinking by myself at my desk. this is the kind of foible a person could get a lot of mileage out of)
It is indeed time to give in to biology and try to sleep this off. now this time i definitely won't be on again till around the time the show opens.
Or will i? you can't tell, cause you just can't trust me. Bitches.
How dare you try to understand that which is
Ken?
You lift me up then you cut me down,
In the end it counts for nothing,
We all live alone.
You paint me red then you taint me blue,
But the end amounts to nothing,
Coz we all breath alone.
And you touch but I don't feel,
If you try then it don't show,
And I'm wishing we weren't so.
A lesson learned is a lessened burn,
And harsh, the harth we live in,
As we all seek our grails,
And I touch but you don't feel,
And I try but you won't know,
And I'm wishing we weren't so.
Year after year,
We grow old, we grow new,
Year after year.
This shadow tracks my every move.
Now, the reasons I hold you so dear to me
Are the sum rewards of living,
And I want us to grow,
I touch but I you don't feel,
Coz you go where you will go,
I'm wishing we weren't so.
Year after year,
We grow old, we grow new,
Year after year,
This shadow tracks my every move,
Mocks my every single turn,
You lift me up then you cut me down,
And the end amounts to nothing,
My heart remains my own,
We touch but it's a play,
And we try but it's now show,
And I'm wishing we weren't so
�
