2005-06-22 - 6:30 p.m.
It's been a time. This weekend was pretty average. The Ren Faire...is the Ren Faire, and i'll have thoughts about that later on after they coalesce into something both coherent and reasonable. Monday was a trip and a half, though.
So I go to audition for this show called "Arthur, The Boy Who Would Be King" by some James DeVita, whose name is familiar but i'm too lazy to google it and figure out why. I think he's an actor at American Players over in Spring Green, but I'm not sure. And the script is all the way across a room full of Emily playing video games, so that's out. (Yeah, I'm lazy, but I'm drinking B to the E to rectify the situation. Brook- "it's like someone poured cough syrup in a budweiser!" Nothing like alcohol and caffeine together ot give you a boost.)
My warning signs began buzzing when the director was 20 minutes late with no notice. Then she had me read 3 hasty scenes as an audition because "The first full-cast readthrough is right after this, so can you stay till 9?" Uh...ok. Sure. No problem.
*My apartment has just filled with smoke. Brook's been watching me cook stir-fry so often he's decided to try his hand at it. The crackling of oil and the sudden haze tells me the meat has just hit the wok, as it were. I'm gonna pull the battery out of the fire alarm.*
So three quickie readthroughs, no prep time, just checking to make sure I actually know how to read, apparently, and I have landed myself the role of Cador, father of Morgana. It's got fighting, so the role is mine "If you can handle the sword." tee-hee...
Cast meeting starts and the spider-sense turns into a five alarm. No rehearsal schedule. Ground plans drawn on notebook paper without the use of even a straight edge. This is a time travel show, so there's four actors for each of the major roles (Arthur, gwen, etc...) ranging in age from six to 24. Joy. Parents everywhere, the "Look at my son/daughter, isn't he so talented? Talented enough to allow me to vicariously live out my own frustrated dreams of being a performer. Or else!" My friend Kassi from the Ren Faire is cast as adult Gwen, which is nice. I notice the director, a friend of Kassi's from college (yeah, it's one of those kinds of shows) is a bit...high strung. I inquire to kassi, who promptly laughs, shakes her head, and goes "You have no idea. We're in for a wild time." Not a glowing recommendation.
(speaking of glowing recommendations, brook's stir-fry has come out with a solid "not bad" for his first time. Congrats, brook. Remember to rub it in torii's face for laughing and saying "I'm sorry" when i told him you were cooking.)
Apparently the two fight choreographers (also playing adult arthur and lancelot) are nervous about the cast not being able to pick up the combat quickly enough. ??? we haven't even had a rehearsal yet. 10 minutes are wasted discussing this. Apparently the two guys want the show cancelled or moved back so a good solid 10 weeks of rehearsal can be put in. I'm flipping through the script, and i don't really see a whole lot of involved stage combat. Why are these guys so nervous? Then it dawns on me. These guys are certified, experienced, or actually qualified in any way. They're realizing that they're in over their heads, and are desperately looking for an out.
The reading commences, and I realize very quickly that, to put it bluntly, I'm too good for this show. I'm far more experienced, trained (and talented, as long as I'm revelling in egotism) than anyone else, including in the stage combat aspects of things (and I'd never presume to think I'd be a qualified fight choreographer. There's a reason those guys have to pass rigorous study courses and certification tests to get to do this work.) Suddenly I'm looking at the planned performance schedule, realizing I'd rather be at Bristol during the 2 weekends in July, and looking for a graceful way to bail on the show. It's not a personal thing, but this isnt' a step forward for my career. This is a show where the budget comes from how many tickets the actors can sell in advance based on their assurances that it'll be good. And apparently the budget calls for a total ticket sales of around 300 over four nights performances, which is just sad. I wouldn't be doing myself any favors being in this show, and my impatience with it would be a disruption to the rest of the cast and crew, too. I know myself well enough to know I'd be looking for every reason to be late, ditch rehearsal, and I wouldn't be happy doing it, if for no other reason than it'd feel like a step backward for me. At least Bristol still offers challenges, and if i'm gonna do a show for free , i want it to be challenging and interesting at least. Plus this script blows, but I think i mentioned that before.
Totally unnecessary line of reasoning and agonizing and egotism on my part, as I get home that night to an email telling me that the 2 fight choreographers have backed out on the show entirely and the show is now cancelled outright or at least pushed back till around january. The plus side is that my suspicious about the douchebag choreographers are 100% confirmed. One quit citing misgivings about the capabilities of a cast he hasn't tried to rehearse yet, the other quit because he "Doesn't trust workign with anyone else" Amateurs wanting to be pros and act like pros, but don't have the balls to take responsibility for a show invovling combat and minors when it suddenly becomes their asses on the line if they screw up, which they will because they don't know what they're doing. Just as well that the show's not going on, because I wouldn't have worked with these idiots anyway. LAast thing I need is for some idiot to get me hurt.
And I'm angry with these guys, which is totally reasonable/unreasonable. I was about to bail on teh show, true, but my role was a minor one and I was replacable, plus i definitely wasn't a good fit for it. These guys made a commitment to take on major responsibility for this show, the first one for this particular company run by a friend of theirs (and not a bad person, either, just high strung and something of a prude, but certainly not worthy of such shitty treatment), and flaked out, essentially. Hypocritical of me, but justifiably so. Assholes.
Plus that night I lost my bus pass and office ID card on the bus on the way up there, which was just the icing on the cake. I had to come home and crack a 40.
Why do I choose a profession full of utterly dislikable people? Oh, yeah, it's cause the world is full of utterly dislikable people.
Anyway, I'm too typed out to describe my Bristol malaise, and I'm still pondering through it, so expect that next time. Meanwhile, I've been challenged by Gretchen to do this, so I will, though anyone who's been reading this for an extended length of time already knows them all anyway, and the lyrics to most are somewhere in the archive. Be warned though, few if any of these songs are actually any fun to listen to, especially if you don't like depressing music.
My six favorite songs (this is more of an all-time list than current)-
1. Angels Tonight by the Gin Blossoms. It's sad and flagrantly woman-hating all at the same time.
2. Superman by Goldfinger. It was my favorite tune to skate to in Tony Hawk 1, and when I finally found the full version, I liked it a lot.
3. Lost Highway by Hank Williams Sr. "Just a deck of cards and a jug of wine/and a woman's lies makes a life like mine." is quite possibly the greatest single line from any song ever.
4. Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt by Trent Reznor. The way Johnny sings it is haunting, and the music video makes me want to cry every time I see it. He turned the song from something whining about heroin addicition into a fear of getting old and everyone you love dying before you. Especially sad because June, who's in the video, died about 2 months after the album, which has liner notes in which Johnny writes about how she's the most important part of his life, was released. As an aside, further proof of how amazing Johnny Cash was is found on that same album, where he makes a song by George Michael not only tolerable, but actually good.
5. I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry by Hank Williams Sr. Simple, but lyrically it's the saddest song I've ever heard.
6. Life Less Ordinary by Carbon Leaf. These guys are good. My roommate on tour introduced me to them, and everyone I play their music for becomes a fan. Check out their website and listen to some of their stuff if you don't believe me.
I could go on for awhile, but the thing wants six, so there you go.
Hmmm...do I challenge anyone who's not currently challenged? (apparently not)
Brook
Em
Uh...Chris
Mom (Lol, this would be great)
Lena
and uh...
geez
do i even HAVE six other friends? hmmm...
Brian.
Ok, that's it for now. I have to go see batman now.
Ken
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