2005-02-15 - 4:23 p.m.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
11:05am CST- I board my first plane in Madison, bound for Chicago O'Hare. From there, the plan is to take a connecting flight to South Bend, arriving at about 3pm EST, then go half an hour to Goshen, hang out for a couple hours, and leave for Midland, MI at about 6pm, arriving sometime around 10:30.
11:24am CST- we're supposed to be taking off now, but ground delay (weather) in Chicago has us delayed. Ok then. I have a one hour layover, I'm cool.
12:00 pm- The ground delay is still happening. I start getting antsy.
12:30 pm- we take off, finally, and the pilot, to his credit, spares no hardware in getting us to Chicago as fast as he possibly can.
1:30pm- We land in Chicago. This is around the time my flight to South Bend is supposed to take off. It'll be tight, but, wait, miracle of miracles, that flight is delayed an hour, so I have plenty of time, and I don't have to worry about catching up to my bag cause I wound up on a different plane. All is well. We board at 2:15 for a 2:30 takeoff.
2:30pm- I notice we're still not boarding. This day is quickly taking on a "Bicycle Thief" type quality.
2:40pm- We're boarding! yay. A couple quick phone calls to give my ride our new ETA, 4:30pm EST. Still plenty of time, just less hanging out in Goshen. I don't need to check my email, I can just grab my paycheck and head out. it's all good.
3:00pm- We're a crowded plane, as we're takign on other passengers who have missed flights due to the previous delays. Hey, I'm down, we all got screwed today. Boarding is still going on. As luck would have it, I'm sitting next to some gigantic, bitchy woman who thinks all the flight delays and cancellations were done as a personal affront to her by United, and feels the need to tell everyone so, loudly, and call everyone in her phone book to say the same. I tune her out as best I can and read my book.
3:10pm- The agent announces the plane is overweight, and that he needs 8 volunteers to get off and take the next flight. The incentive is tempting, but I gotta be someplace soonly, so I can't. Eventually en ough people agree to do so, but not before Fat Bitch has put her two cents in, "Fuck you guys, I was already delayed once." THen she calls some more people. "Yeah, I guess teh plane is about 500 pounds overweight or something..." I stifle the urge to suggest that if she volunteered to get off, the weight issue would be corrected without the need for additional passengers to deplane. Not that I wouldnt' say this normally, but I can't be sure how mu ch longer I'm gonna have to sit next to this redneck slot. We finally get the weight issue and taxi to the runway, where more waiting ensues, as what seems to be more planes than are in the US Air Force are waiting ahead of us for takeoff.
3:30- We take off! Yay! The day can still be salvaged. We haul ass, and make it in record time! WHoops, forgot aobut the time change.
5pm EST- We land. Ok, this is gonna be tight. Lemme off, lemme off....No? Why? There's a plane still parked at our terminal, boarding. This is gonna take a bit. We wait, 15 feet from where we'd drop the stairs and climb down to the tarmac. It's like someone's taunting me.
5:20pm- Finally, we are allowed to leave. I make apologetic phone calls to the ride I've kept waiting for an hour longer than promised and go to baggage claim.
5:35pm EST- "and I don't have to worry about catching up to my bag cause I wound up on a different plane."
Actually, I do, cause my bag got lost in the shuffle...
6:20pm EST- I was supposed to be leaving Goshen 20 minutes ago. The United agent finally talks to me. My bag is in Chicago still, and the next flight to SOuth Bend departs at 1am. Shit. The only bright spot is that Monday thru Thursday nights are at the same hotel. Il eave the address there, but no phone number, because my cell is almost dead, and guess where teh chager cord is? The bag? The lost one? Of course. I ask for a complimentary toiletries kit so I can brush my teeth tonight. They're out of them, due to demand. Of course they are. It's beent hat kind of day. I keep my cool with the girl, cause it's not her fault, and make my way to the car. Quick stop for food, and we're on our way from Goshen by 7:30 pm. Ok.
9:00 pm- THe navigators make some sort of miscommunication with the drivers, and we wind up going 45 minutes farther north than our supposed turn off. PLus is raining like the Great Flood outside, with wind hard enough to turn it to ice pretty quickly, so we make the last half of the journey at about 40 mph. Our radio antenna looks like a giant icicle.
Midnight- Happy Fucking Valentine's Day. Where the hell are we?
1:00 am EST- we arrive at our hotel for the night. We leave at 7 for our morning show. I spend half an hour on the phone with united sorting out the details for where to have the bag sent. The bright side? There's a Meijers (poor man's Wal-Mart) 400 yards away, across a parking lot. I can get necessary supplies. The hotel is also nice enough to provide all my necessary toiletries.
1:30am- Remember that parking lot? It's 400 yards of icy death at this point. I never dare to lift my feet for fear of falling on my ass, it's so icy and windy. And still raining.
2:00 am- I splurge and spend $20 so I can wear different socks, shirt, and boxers tomorrow than I was today (I'm a spendthrift, I know) I also get more cough medicine, cause this weather isn't helping the cold i was getting over. The only thing standing between me and a hot shower and bed is The Grim Reaper's Parking Lot From Hell. Somehow, I make it back without falling. Yin and Yang, I guess. My key won't let me in the back door of the hotel though. "Ok boys, one lap around the hotel, and you can hit the showers." At one point, I was going down a rampway with the wind at my back and I didn't move. I just stood there as gravity and wind pushed me where I wanted to go. This was teh only thing that amused me about that night, and before that my mood was so foul I'd have gotten enjoyment from seeing someone's puppy tortured to death with a soldering iron.
2:30 am- Finally in, showered, and ready to sleep. Thank God this day is over.
The next day- Christmas arrives on Valentine's Day, as the inclement weather has caused school closings resulting int he cancellation of all our shows on MOnday. I take the day off and just.. try to figure out where the hell my bag is.
My bag caught up with me a couple hours ago. Clean clothes tomorrow.
Ken
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