2004-09-24 - 2:21 p.m.
Brook- So should I be disturbed that I'm seeing Star Wars cards as we watch the movie?
Me- Nah, that just means that you're becoming an expert with the movies. Soon you'll be like me or Kali.
Brook- Sanitarium, here I come...
My Return of the Jedi has Hayden Christensen in it. And Gungans. Fuck.
Yeah, of course I bought the Trilogy on DVD the day it came out. And I got to see firsthand how the Bearded One put that simpering, no talent little cracker asshole into the end of Jedi just cause he (Lucas) is a bad man who lives nowadays only to find new and more interesting ways to piss off his core fanbase, because he knows that said fanbase is comprised of retards (like me!) who buy this crap anyway just cause it has the star wars logo on it.
ANd now in one thirty second span of the end of Jedi, you can see Ewoks, Gungans, and Hayden Christensen all in one fell swoop. I think I'm finally beginning to realize what the really pathetic star wars diehards were talking about years ago when they whined about Lucas "raping their childhood memories"
Hey, George, pull the flannel out of your ears for a minute and listen to MY suggestion- How about we digitally insert me playing Anakin Skywalker into Episode II? I guarantee you that I can act circles around his sorry ass when I'm drunk, high AND comatose. I mean, for gods sake, he manages to give a bad performance in Jedi by just STANDING THERE! HOW THE HELL DO YOU FUCK THAT UP?
Plus I have naturally nicer hair. So he can go to hell. I'm rambling.
So...
I was gone for a bit again, but this time it wasn't my fault. My computer picked up a virus. (Heh...karma strikes again.) So for awhile the whole apartment was without working computers. Then we "fixed" brook's computer. Turns out the monitor was plugged into the wrong socket, cause there's two video cards on the damn thing. HAHAHAHA! We're retarded. Still need to fix my computer,though. Finally, I decided, standards and practices be damned, i wanted to update, dammit! If you pay close attention the time, you'll notice it's around 2:30. yep. I'm at work. Turn green with envy. In a 40 hour work week, I do maybe 20 hours of actual "work" and the rest of the time is spent slacking off and finding ways to look busy. This is one of those time.
"Don't you wish you were me..."
There's stuff I would like to have written about, especially around the 11th and the 2 year anniversary, but they will just have to wait for a different time.
Women. I swear. if it's not one thing, it's another. If not A, then B. If they're not whores, they're...
well, actually, that's pretty much it. They're all whores. Yeah. You! You're a whore!
Well, maybe not ALL of them are whores. Most of them aren't, actually. They're sluts. Whores are pretty enough to get paid. Sluts just realize that they need to start yummying down whenever a guy unzips in front of them. But them what's not sluts is whores, with the defining line being whether or not I can afford them. (Cause lord knows beautiful and attractive women have way better things to do than sleep with me, but the rest of them have no problem with it.)
"I had no time for women. Women made me sick..."
But no, I don't subscribe to the whole "virgin or whore" mentality. You're all whores, and that's all there is to it. I was having a nice conversation with a female friend of mine just last night about how some people view women, especially Dave Sim. Then I booted her in the face and told her to get her ass back in kitchen, and that was the end of it.
To hell with them all.
"Ken, what brought this all on?"
Eh, nothing in particular. I just felt like it needed to be said, and so I did. I haven't had a chance to heap abuse on anyone in a bit, so I'm doing it. It's because I care that I degrade.
Plus I discovered that i still have a lot more readers than I thought i did, so I figured I'd give them all a special hello! I see you! Now go away, you silly fucksticks! You're all ugly and no one loves you! your girlfriends are cheating on you, your parents have rented your rooms out to transient crack dealers, your children are gonna grow up to be the next menendez brothers or columbine killers, your business partners are stealing from you, your government is fucking you in the ass daily, your president can't even pronounce 2 syllable words correctly, you're going to die fat and alone and unloved in a neglectful nursing home somewhere, and no one's going to care, because you are a useless little sack of congregated cells that should have been introduced to a coat hanger long ago, you are destined to lead a useless, unremarkable life consisting of little more than breathing in and out and fornicating with other sad ugly people just as pathetic as yourself so that you can create more little bastards in your own shameful image to give you the illusion that you've actually done something useful with your life, and they're going to grow up to be even fatter, uglier and stupider than you are because you're just going to let TV and the Internet raise them for you because you can't be bothered because you have to hurry along to your meaningless little job that doesn't do a single thing to help anyone in any way except to put more money in some rich guys pocket. You will never stand out. You will never make a difference. You will never do a single thing of merit. You are not special. YOU DON'T MATTER! NONE OF US DO! REALIZE THAT AND STOP FUCKING TAKING YOURSELF SO GODDAM SERIOUSLY! Kisses!
Still with me? wow, you're brave. Lucky for you, we're at the end.
For anyone who cares, Brook is home from Scotland now, and damn did he get fat. I mean, we're talking post-menopausal Linda Rondstat levels of obesity now. He's really proud of himself, too, that he finally gained some weight, and it was all thanks to the miracle of the All Carb Diet (Trademark Stephen Page) He's also got a metric assload of pictures of scottish people with funny teeth throwing up in a Wal-Mart if you're interested in seeing them.
Always finding new ways to hit the ceiling,
Ken
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