2004-05-05 - 9:32 p.m.
Brent- No one looks cool in a station wagon.
Marilyn- Yeah, I know I wouldn't look good in one.
Me- Well, maybe not the front seat....
So I may or may not have stumbled ass backwards into a free car. A 1976 Volvo station wagon. I'm not a car guy. I have never had a driver's license, although i realize that my window of grace period on that is rapidly coming to an end, especially if i'm planning on moving across multiple states. Still, i don't like cars. Don't like driving. Dont' even like riding in cars any more than i need to. I 'm perfectly content to take the bus to work, and meet all sorts of new and interesting people who beg me for change or cigarettes.
Even still, I always had this inkling that if'n i ever did get a car...I dunno. I never pictured myself driving a volvo station wagon. Could you?
Still, it'd be free, and free is always the best possible price, like the free lunch and dinner that brook and i scammed from the Chipotle near my office today. We celebrated Cinco De Mayo by lying, cheating, and essentially stealing (Brook even scammed more than i did. I'm having a bad influence.) free food from a mexican chain. Viva la rasa!
Hmmm...maybe i could trick out the station wagon a bit...put some hydraulics in it, and roll around suburban milwaukee hittin' the switches...
Heh- I know there are wiggers, but is there such a thing as a wic?
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There are these two creepy ladies at my office. One is about my age, one is in her thirties. They each are married (remember that part) and have one kid, a boy and a girl respectively, who are both around 3. They took these poor kids down to a photo studio together one day and posed them together dressed up as a bride and groom, then passed around the photos proudly proclaiming that their kids are going to get married one day.
Married? no. Therapy? yeah
The following conversations between me and them (I'm not gonna bother differentiating them, because it just doesn't make it any less creepy) took place last week during Spirit Day in which everyone is supposed to wear a floral print something or other. LIke I give a fuck. My question is, does this qualify as sexual her-ass-mint? (yeah, i'm definitely going to hell)
Where's your flowers?
I'm not wearing any.
Not even flowered boxers?
No.
Maybe those are just for private showings. *giggles*
Uh...
Or maybe he's wearing a flowered speedo.
And i got the hell out of there.
I had a dream about you last night!
Uh...
Don't worry, it wasn't anything bad. I dreamt that we were at work, and I was in the bathroom, looking for my clothes, and you were following me around asking me about golf.
Yeah, that's totally normal. Look, I gotta go...
See! He was probably hoping for something kinkier! *giggles*
Hmm... I wonder what your HUSBAND would say about your dream, you dumb box...How the fuck is you naked in the ladies room with me following you around NOT a dream that could be considered weird or bad? And why the hell do i need to know about it? (Ok, yeah, if she was hot, i'd be hanging on her every word. I'm shallow like that)
I used to think it was my personality that led people to believe that they could share this kind of thing with me, but I talk to no one while i'm working. I have my headphones on all day, even with nothing playing, just to avoid having to talk to any of these freaks.
I just wanna know what it is about me that draws people like that...wait, i do know. NEver mind. I don't wanna open up that can of worms.
One of these days I need to get around to writing somethign with some substance. Or I could just keep playing video games and wtaching porn.
This American life.
Ken
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