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2004-03-30 - 7:22 p.m.

"Mercurial":[adj] liable to sudden unpredictable change; "erratic behavior"; "fickle weather"; "mercurial twists of temperament"; "a quicksilver character, cool and willful at one moment, utterly fragile the next"

[adj] relating to or containing or caused by mercury; "mercurial preparations"; "mercurial sore mouth"

[adj] relating to or having characteristics (eloquence, shrewdness, swiftness, thievishness) attributed to the god Mercury; "more than Mercurial thievishness"

[adj] relating to or under the (astrological) influence of the planet Mercury; "the Mercurial canal"

Buckle up, this might take a minute...

So another Formal has came and went. I had a good time. At first I wasn't in such a good mood, but it's amazing what doing something really unbelievably stupid to really, really deflate all your ego and self esteem right near the beginning of the night can do to help get you into the proper mood for a night that should be all about joy.

No, seriously, it does. After I apologized, i had a wonderful time. All was right with the world for one night (mostly) and after the memorial shot, a really amazing sense of well being came over me for much of the rest of the night. I was so happy, i laughed out loud at my own mood, and suddenly i was saying all the right things to all the right people. (and for once, by the right things, i mean the ones that needed to be said to certain folk, not the ones that would help me get laid or make me look good.) and with the exception of one slightly awkward though ego-boosting moment at the end of the night (nice capstone to get me back into egocentric assclown mode again by the time the hangover started wearing off), the night was drama free.

T- (I can do it too, fucker! Anything you can do, I can rip off!) I know what you were trying to do, and i deeply appreciate the assist. You my homey. However, now that you know my reasons for hesitating, i hope you know what to do in the future. Yeah, i'm a Retard, but I can't really help it. It's what I do. Come on, would i really be me if i wasn't finding some spectacular way to royally fuck up?

Really, it's why you all pay attention to me. Just waiting to see what new and ingenious way to ruin myself I can come up with.

That and the small penis humor.

I'm only good at being a nice guy when i'm drunk.

Every year at formal, people complain about the drama being caused by the people for once in their lives consuming their USRDA of alcohol, but they fail to see the big picture. The catharsis, if you will (someone teach me italics again) People don't get stupid when they drink. They just become unflaggingly honest. Drunk people drop any pretense of feeling any way other than the way they feel. The truth, both good and bad, comes out, and it's good (mostly) for this sort of thing to happen in a large, loving (mostly) family atmosphere like formal. When a drunk guy says, "I love you." he means it. he loves you...right in that moment at least. And he's not gonna hide it.

"Will you still love me/Tomorrow?"

That's really all there is to say about it. I had fun. Oh, except for one thing- My camera disappeared at some point during formal. So I gotta send out a twofold plea to all who were there that night- 1- If you get back some pictures that you don't remember taking, mostly of the clevage of the hot women who were there and of me in my adidas gear with my fly ho at my side, you probably have MY Kodak funsaver, and if you'd be so kind as to send the pics over my way, i'll happily pay you back for their development. Or, failing that, any of you who ALSO took lots of pics, pleasepleaseplease make me doubles? Pretty please? I'll pay you? Either way, let me know, either through the guestbook or whatever usual contact info. I really wanted pics of this one, and i'm not a picture hound, so that says a lot.

Me- I'm so sleepy...Non-drowsy claritin my ass!

Marilyn- Go lie down.

Me- where would i do that?

Marilyn- go to the nurses office.

Me- that's where the chair massages are done. If i go lie down there, someone is liable to start massaging me.

Marilyn- Oh, that's right. Ken doesn't like to be touched.

Me- I don't mind being touched. I just don't like being massaged.

Marilyn- What's the difference.

Me- Intent.

Everyone laughed their asses off at that one. Five minutes later...

Marilyn- Can you explain that?

Me- I don't like to be touched that much if it's in a solely platonic manner.

Loriann- You men are all pigs.

So people bug me sometimes that while i profess to like patsy cline, i never post lyrics to her songs in here. The reason for that is simple- she's a chick.

Hang on a second, let me explain- every song she does is written using male pronouns as the love interests. So I have two options- I can either take the time to change all the "him" to "her" and "he" to "She", which i am definitely faaaarrrr too lazy to deal with, or i can post them as is and let you all wonder if I'm turning gay.

Nice set of options. however, once in awhile a tune is so fitting it's worth any amount of flak to put it in in the right place, so here you go. Don't say i never gave you anything.

He takes me to the places you and I used to go,

He tells me over and over that he loves me so,

He gives me love that I never got from you,

He loves me too, his love is true,

Why can't he be you?

He never fails to call and tell me I'm on his mind,

And I'm lucky to have such a guy, I hear it all the time.

And he does all the things that you would never do,

He loves me too, his love is true,

Why can't he be you?

He's not the one who dominates my mind and soul,

And I should love him so, cause he loves me, I know,

But his kisses leave me cold.

He sends me flowers, calls on the hour, just to prove his love,

And my friends say when he's around, I'm all he speaks of,

And he does all the things that you would never do,

He loves me too, his love is true,

Why can't he be you?

or something like that.

and by the way, i'm many bad things, but i'm not a bastard- my parents were married at the time of my conception, still married at the time of my birth, and married till my dad died. Let's use proper nomenclature here, ok?

Confused? Good.

Ken

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