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2004-02-11 - 10:58 p.m.

Ah, it's that time of year again. A time to wallow in a bizarre mixture of false bravado and a confidence bordering on arrogance (bordering? who the hell am i kidding? I've conquered and absorbed arrogance like it was Tibet or something). A time to hope for the best and dread the worst, knowing that they're both the awful truth.

Yeah, it's time for Statewides again. Once again, i find myself preparing hastily for the audition, knowing simultaneously that i should have started picking out pieces weeks ago but at the same time knowing that i do my best work at the last minute anyway (a skill you pick up when you're really lazy)

At no other time in my life am i as scared out of my mind critical of my own talents while at the same time being so full of myself it makes you want to puke. (more than i usually make you want to puke) My Confidence says that I know that i'll get hired somewhere while my Paranoia brings up a good point in saying I won't even get a callback.

Well, the one plus is that this year the auditions are on valentine's day, so i have a good reason to ignore the holiday that wont' get me accused of being a bitter asshole, at least for one year.

Let's see, we need something to ease the tension. OOh, i know. It's black history month. And i've been doing my part to remind people of that.

yes sir, whenever i'm going to and from work this month, i sit at the FRONT of the bus.

i came up with that one on the way home last week and just about fell over when i realized what an awful thing to say it was. Admire my restraint at not sharing it with the whole damn world for all of a week.

i'm sure that one offended someone out there. God, I hope so.

"You throw the frisbee with so much evil in your soul...."

me- that's not a bad breast for a middle aged woman...

Wej- well, she did pay good money for it

Hey, this week's song isn't by Hank Williams. in fact, i can almost guarantee NONE of you have ever heard it, unless you also know the lead singer for Slacker (his day job is delivering stuff to my office. What a star! I now have an autographed copy of an LP NO ONE will ever hear anyway. Bask in my glor!) They're pretty good, though. Sound kind of like the Cure. And i'm gonna quit there before i start trying to sound like some music asshole, or like one of you guys.

Seems the sun will never rise

I see the future in disguise and i'm cryin'

Left alone without a smile

Guess you're gonna be away a while and I'm cryin'

I face the day or at least i try

I always know the reason why i keep cryin'

When you're not here i cannot see

What is the feeling coming over me when i'm cryin'

Always try to make it go right

But I keep tryin' with you

Don't know why I love you like i do

It never seems to go quite right

It's my Waterloo

Dont' know why i love you like i do

Of all the love that's come and gone

I think you know where you belong when i'm cryin'

Time can be a healing thing

i can dance but i cannot sing and I'm tryin'

Broken plans and shattered dreams

the end is here or so it seems when i'm cryin'

Each night i vow to make you stay

Each day i only seem to push you away and i'm cryin'

Always try to make it go right

but i keep tryin' with you

don't know why i love you like i do

It never seems to go quite right

It's my Waterloo

Don't know why i love you like i do

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