2003-11-22 - 10:49 p.m.
I'm supposed to be somewhere else.
But I'm here.
Where would I be if not here?
It's hard to be anywhere other than where I am.
Okay, this is definitely starting off on the wrong foot. It's turning into some weird bastard child amalgamation of bad poetry and half-assed philosophy that you retards seem to be so fond of.
That kind of BS is only for when I'm seriously depressed.
I couldn't make it to activation this weekend, so I chose to stay home alone for awhile. I chose TO BE ALONE! Cause it's good for you.
"You disappointed so many people."
Oh, pardon me while I don't give a fuck. you think it's sad to be me? Look at yourself. The highlight of your weekend was seeing me. Now that's pathetic.
besides, that would have been four weekends in a row, and i remember back when I was an active that sometimes I would be disappointed when alums DID show up.
besides, i'm flying back to friggin' new mexico in two days. Cut a wigger some slack.
My boss Marilyn is rapidly becoming my closest friend in Milwaukee after the old roomie. She's great. She's totally saucy, like all my ex-girlfriends, only she has a sense of humor and something resembling adulthood every now and then. Which is both alluring and intimidating. She's really sweet though. Even if I have no chance in hell with her (she's ungodly hot) I'm glad that we're getting a chance to be friends. I think I can learn a lot from her. Now what to get her for christmas? Anyway, the point of this is that I was telling her about how i got sexually harassed this summer, and her first response was, "Too bad she wasn't attractive, or you would have just slept with her." Not many women say things like that with regards to sexual harassment. And by "say things like that" I mean, "admit the truth." This is why she rules.
And I feel bad for her, because she is the victim of rampant gender discrimination at the company. If i stuck around for a full year, i'd be promoted over her head, even though she's been there three years.
Thank you, God, for the Y chromosome you gave me.
Curse you, God, for all the extra chromosomes you gave me. I don't like being retarded.
So Jen M., you feel you'd need to teach me how to be an adult, eh? Well, lady, you can take your over-inflated ego and blow me. I was inquiring as to the benefits package that could be included as part of the contract signing for our friendship, not asking for a new mommy. I still have one parent left, thank you very much, and I've been taking care of myself for some time now.
And you're not the only one who's been cheated on, you know. Three of my last four. And you don't see me getting all bent out of shape over itGODDAMIT!!!YOUFUCKINGWHORES!!!HOWTHEFUCKCOULDYOU DO THAT TO ME!!! I TRIED THE BEST I COULD TO BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND AND THIS IS HOW YOU SAY THANK YOU??? FUCK YOU ALL!!! SLUTS!!! I WILL DANCE ON ALL OF YOUR GRAVES, YOU STUPID HARLOTS!!! I DON'T CARE HOW LONG I HAVE TO LIVE OR WHOSE ORGANS I HAVE TO STEAL TO DO SO, I WILL OUTLIVE EACH OF YOU. MY HATE IS STRONGER THAN YOUR FEMALE LIFESPAN. I WILL PISS ON YOUR WITHERED ELDERLY CORPSES SEVENTY YEARS FROM NOW, AND WHEN I FINALLY SEE ALL OF YOU IN HELL, YOU CAN GREET ME WITH AN "I'm sorry, Ken, please forgive my stupidity." BLOWJOB!!!!!!
That needed to be said. I feel better now. I'm in control again.
This girl from River Falls, on the day she met me, wrote in her weblog (THREE EXTRA GODDAM LETTERS!!! Would that fucking kill you? BLOG is the most retarded term I've heard since shock and awe. BLOG is not a good name for anything except the dragon your level 20 Paladin/Assassin killed last week at the weekly D+D/VirginsForLife meeting. I am so goddam sick of hearing that stupid term. Next person who uses it is gonna get dickslapped right in the fucking eye.) that "Ken needs some really badly."
True dat. Nice thought, babe. Too bad you went and fucked the effeminate heterosexual next door instead. Bitch.
yes, the girl in the third row? Oh, yeah, I LOVE being led on. Thanks. Toy with me to alleviate your own insecurities, please.
Marilyn says that's something all girls do. And that's why you're all BITCHES!
I'm gonna smurf your ass, smee-otch.
Speaking of weblogs and online diaries...
Ken, that was two paragraphs ago. you should be transitioning into smurfs now.
I like jarring transitions. Speaking of weblogs, I'm also getting pretty sick of all these goddam tests that you fuckers keep linking to. I got a big news flash for you 'tards- those tests don't actually tell you which Beatle you are, or which supervillian you are, they just tell you which one you imagine yourself to be in your romanticized vision of yourself that you carry around in your head. those tests are so unbelievably transparent that you'd have to be retarded not to see which answers will lead you to the result you want to get. Which would explain why you all fall for it and proudly post the results to the goddam things like you've just won a fucking Nobel prize or something.
Here, i designed one just for you idiots. It's really easy, too.
Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle are you?
1. Which of these personality types suits you best?
A) The serious and dedicated leader persona (choose this if you're usually the least interesting person in the room, even when alone.)
B) The geeky scientist type (Choose this one if you'd be afraid to use a bladed weapon or anything with a chain on it out of fear of hurting yourself.)
C) The party animal (Choose this one if you're actually best suited to option A, but are too in denial to admit to it.)
D) The sarcastic asshole. (Choose this one only if your name has three letters with an "E" as the middle one. )
"Hey, I told a joke once! I must be D!"
"Hey, I think I'm mature! I must be A!"
"Hey, I went to party once and even stayed out til midnight! I must be C!"
"Hey, I have a cel phone! I must be B!"
There, that was easy.
Well, I'm tapped. I'll be back to update again in a few days, as per the usual routine- write, leave the entry up long enough for it to collect all the guestbook signings it can, then pound another out after a few days.
Fuck you all.
Ken
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