2003-10-15 - 7:50 p.m.
"So what is love?"
"Love is when you care about the other person just as much as you care about yourself."
"That sounds nice. Let's love each other."
"Sure. Of course, there is the matter of the $52.99 registration fee..."
HA! Smell the IRONY!!!
Wait, that should be "Smell the Iron-ING, since i bought one today. I was going to talk about the varying costs of irons, and work in a bad joke about Jeremy Irons, but i'm definitely way too sophisticated (lazy) to bother with that kind of stuff.
Me- Now can I interest anyone in some wine before the meal?
Old rich guy- I have a question.
Me- Certainly sir.
Old rich guy- How did I wind up here with three dates? Explain that to me? What did I do to deserve this? I just know this is going to cost me, isn't it?
Me- Sir, if I had three beautiful dates to a wonderful dinner like this, I wouldn't stop to ask questions. I'd have some wine and enjoy myself.
Old rich guy- That's the best advice I've heard all night. Can I have some wine?
Me- Absolutely. Red or white?
Old rich guy- Both.
Me- Certainly. Can i clear your martini glass first?
Old rich guy- Sure. I'm still working on the scotch, though, so leave that.
Me- Of course...
I worked a $300 a plate dinner for the American Cancer Society on Saturday night. Pretty uneventful. Small gathering, the folk were laid back, and a good time was had by all. The only downside to the night was that of all the celebrities who could have decided to show up at this thing and get served champagne by me, I had to get stuck with Richard fucking Gere. Couldn't have gotten an actor who's good, or one that I admire. No, I had to get a lame-ass hack who likes to shove gerbils up his ass. I should have just said something really rude to him and made it my last night ever at the Hyatt.
At least all I had to do was serve him champagne, since he didn't sit at my table.
One day a good actor will come along, and i can actually make getting fired for talking to him a worthwhile endeavor.
Cute girl at the copy machine- So you're new, right? What do you do?
Me- I pull EOBs.
Cute girl- That's pretty gay.
Me- Yeah. I'm only a temp though. I don't plan on being here very long.
Cute girl- Me neither. I wouldn't want to do that shit for very long.
Somehow I didn't feel that right then and there was the best time to ask for her phone number.
Don't worry, I promise that the only time I'll ever talk about the EOB job will be with stories like that, especially if i wind up nailing that chick in the archive room. I don't care about that job at all, so I don't expect you to. At least the hyatt is marginally interesting. I don't plan on becoming one of those lamewads who spends every entry dissecting their job in exacting detail.
Fucking billygoats.
Well, fuck this. I got beer to drink and cheap comics to read. Later, cocksuckers. And cocksuckees.
Ken
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