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2002-12-07 - 9:11 p.m.

I feel terrible. That's really all I have to say here. Nothing else, just that I don't feel so good.

Typos can be really freakin' hilarious sometimes. *WARNING- The following anecdote is A)Gaymer related and B) was probably one of those "You had to be there" things, so feel free to ignore it. I won't care.

So I'm currently running a Dungeons and Dragons "gayme" for Tickler and the lovely Christine. It's so cute- the two of them are so completely bent on taking anything that's not nailed down, and bound and determined to kill anything that moves. Reminds me of a young me. And I play pretty fast and loose with the rules, so it's like a power gaymer/munchkin's heaven over here. After I described a kitchen to her that had a bucket half-filled with dried cement, Christine asked me, "If I tie a rope to the bucket and swing it at someone, how much damage would it do?"

Anyhow, Tickler is playing an Elf who weighs in at all of 90 pounds. At one point during our last game, Tickler told me he was going to throw food to the giant rats attacking him.

Me- How much food are you throwing them?

Tickler- Well, let's see...(Consults character sheet.) I'm currently carring 716 pounds of food...

Me- WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Turns out he was carrying seven days worth of food, or something like that. But I think the idea of a 90 pound guy carrying more than seven times his body weight in food, plus other shit, is...not nearly as amusing as it probably seemed at the time. Ah well.

But, Plugs-

Viola had her wisdom teeth out and she's taking it like a man. She's also job hunting like a man, and cleaning the kitchen like a good woman. Wonder if she's barefoot. Yep, I'm gonna get hit for that one. She's also listening to Martina McBride, but I don't think we should hold that against her.

Meanwhile, Warren is all up in everyone's face about just exactly what the wisdom teeth are. When I had my wisdoms out, I got dry sockets and had to get the dentist to flush out the sockets and pack them with medicated gauze.

He used his water pik.

His water pik which shot ice water.

On my exposed jawbone. That was the worst pain of my life.

So we begin and end with Ken not feeling so good. Ah well. Let's have a song.

They say that there's a broken light

for every heart on Broadway.

They say that life's a game

And then they take the board away

They give you masks and costumes

and an outline of a story

Then leave you all to improvise

Their vicious cabaret.

In no longer pretty cities

There are fingers in the kitties

There are warrants, forms, and chitties

And a jack-boot on the stair.

There's sex and death and human grime

In monochrome for one thin dime,

And at least the trains all run on time

But they don't go anywhere.

Facing their responsibilities

Either on their backs or on their knees

There are ladies who just simply freeze

And dare not turn away.

And the widows who refuse to cry

Will be dressed in garter and bow-tie

and be taught to kick their legs up high

In this vicious cabaret.

At last the 1998 show!

The ballet on the burning stage!

The documentary seen

Upon the fractured screen.

The dreadful poem scrawled

Upon the crumpled page!

There's a policeman with an honest soul

That has seen whose head is on the pole

And he grunts and fills his briar bowl

With a feeling of unease.

Then he briskly frisks the torn remains

For a fingerprint or crimson stains

and endeavours to ignore the chains

That he walks in to his knees.

While his master in the dark nearby

Inspects the hands with brutal eye

That have never brushed a lover's thigh

But have squeezed a nation's throat.

And he hungers in his secret dreams

For the harsh embrace of cruel machines

But his lover is not what she seems

And she will not leave a note

At last the 1998 show!

The situation tragedy!

Grand opera slick with soap!

Cliff-hangers with no hope!

The water color in the flooded gallery.

There's a girl who'll push but will not shove

And she's desperate for her father's love.

She believes the hand beneath the glove

May be one she needs to hold.

Though she doubts her host's moralities

She decides that she is more at ease

In the land of doing-as-you-please

Than outside in the cold.

But the backdrops peel and the sets give way

And the cast get eaten by the play

There's a murderer at the matinee

There are dead men in the aisles.

And the patrons and the actors too

Are uncertain if the show is through

And with sidelong looks await their cue

But the frozen mask just smiles.

At last the 1998 show!

The torch-song no one ever sings!

The curfew chorus line!

The comedy divine!

The bulging eyes of puppets

Strangled by their strings!

There's thrills and chills and girls galore

There's sing-songs and suprises!

There's something here for everyone!

Reserve your seat today!

There's mischiefs and malarkies

But no queers or yids or darkies

Within this bastards carnival

This vicious cabaret!

Ken

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