2002-03-09 - 7:53 p.m.
My experience last night has confirmed a couple of conclusions for me-
1. Raves suck.
2. Ravers are morons.
3. My neck hurts.
Not that they're all bad or evil or anything. Quite the opposite, all the ravers I've ever encountered have been nice, friendly people. Even before they took the Ecstasy. And it's nice to see the youth of America coming together to do something in a spirit of togetherness without fear of violence or oneupmanship or anything else except having fun with each other as equals. (See, equality is achieved at raves. Everyone looks and acts like a moron, so it's hard to think you're better than anyone else. That's how communism was supposed to work.)
First of all, techno music is boring as hell. It's too damn predictable. After listening to any given DJ for longer than, say, three minutes, anyone with half a brain can not only predict when the changes in the music will occur, but what they will be. "3..2..1..music slows to 60...NOW." and so on. Which makes it very easy to dance to, which is good, cause the white folk populating these raves need all the help they can get.
Regardless, I was actually having fun last night dancing...until the throngs arrived. It's hard to dance when there's 200 or so people on the floor with you at any given time. All you can really do is stand in one place and gyrate and move your hands around. I need room to dance like a white man.
Then there's the whole Ecstasy thing. I dunno who thought this crap up, but they should be shot. If I want to act as stupid as I look, I'll smoke weed, thanks. And if I want to act as stupid as I look AND melt my brain away at the same time, I'll drink. At least they're both natural and not created in some chem lab, and neither is a sissy little girly drug.
And before any of the Champions of Brain Melting jump on me to remind me that alcohol is created, I would like to remind you that A) Fermentation is a process that occurs in nature without the need for humans to do anything. We just assist a natural process in this case, whereas I don't see any National Geographic specials about fruit lying in the sun too long and chemically turning into Ecstasy. And B) Humans have known how to make alcohol for a long, long time. I have no problems consuming something that could have been made 4000 years ago, and I don't think they could created the complex chemical compounds they would have needed to melt their brains back in Roman times (although I'm sure the Romans would have had a hell of a lot of fun time with Ecstasy) Look to nature. Do 'shrooms or peyote or something. Those plants are on this earth for a purose, people- we're supposed to use them.
And no, those rules only apply to recreational pharmaceuticals, not foods. Bring on the Twinkies. (As an aside, I'd like to extend hearty congratulations to every vegetarian in the audience for realizing that we, as humans, are not physiologically designed to eat meat. It's unnatural for us. Congratulations, you'll leave healthier corpses. Now get the fuck off your high horses, you self-righteous sons of bitches. I'd rather die tomorrow with my last meal having been a rare (and I'll eat it raw if they let me) steak than live to be 80 eating soy and other related garbage. I enjoy a good vegatable as much as anyone, but meat is just too delicious.)
No less than three times last night, I was hit on. And no, I turned them all down, as they all supported the Bear Trap theory Wej and I came up with a few days ago. (And the attitude behind the Bear Trap theory itself is used as proof for the Ken Will Never Get Another Girlfriend Theory. Funny how life does break down into mathematics when you want it to.)
Ecstasy itself causes a number of the stupid things about raves, for example, glow sticks. You'd have to be on a drug that melts your brain (and I realize I've used the term "melt your brain" several times this entry, so shut the fuck up. It bears repeating that this is a drug that MELTS YOUR BRAIN, and in a manner far more accelerated and far worse than even heavy drinking can accomplish.)..anyway, You'd have to be on something like Ecstasy to even begin to imagine that waving a pair of friggin' glow sticks in the air is cool or entrancing or interesting, or anything else except stupid. And whoever came up with the concept of the "Sea Breeze" deserves to be dick-slapped. And by dick-slapped, I mean tied to train tracks. Of all the non-hetero things I've ever seen, that has to be the most non-hetero.
I don't have any particular beef with raves or ravers that would make me hate them, though. If the sons and daughters of the middle class want to get together and pretend they're rebelling against something, that's their call.
Keep on rollin'....heh, heh.
Ken (And I just realized I've spent this entire entry sounding like the crochety people who do nothing but look down on everything they see with the eye of a disapproving father-figure, and for that, I do apologize. I'll punish myself suitably, and hopefully I'll either have something fun next time, or at least something filled with genuine rage instead of mere whiny irritation. I'm not pissed or anything, really, it was an enjoyable time.)
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