Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2002-01-22 - 9:23 p.m.

Drink a lot of beer.

Smoke something. Anything.

Drink more beer.

Have a shot if you feel like it.

Don't pretend to know everything, or see anything that no one else sees. Remember always that Anorexia will make you skinny.

Wine is for assholes.

If you do think you have a better vision of what's really going on, realize that-

A) You're wrong.

B) There are people out there who are just as intelligent and informed as you who have reached exactly the opposite conclusion, or at least one that's different from yours. Don't try to bring them around to your way of thinking or belittle them for their point of view. This makes you a hypocrite and a dickhead.

Think of the rest of the world as Aztecs, and you're a Conquistador.

Have another beer.

Remember that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Lighten the fuck up.

Be selfish. Show no regard for others. Either they'll die before you, or you'll die before them. Either way, what does your relationship with them matter?

Have more beer. I cannot emphasize this enough. And as many shots as you care to deal with.

Never champion any cause. To do so makes you a Dickhead, and Dickheads can't even stand each other. (Example, my friend who supports Truth.com feels the need to snort derisively whenever the subject of Christianity comes up. That's what I mean by can't stand each other.) Believe what you want to believe, and act on that, but realize that ultimately, no one else cares and it all seems like a cheap attempt on your part to seem cooler and deeper than you actually are, you shallow little fuck, you.

(Wow. I should start verbally abusing my readership, such as it is, more often. That felt good.)

You worthless, shallow, hypocritical, bottomfeeding, trashbag hoes.

Cool.

Another beer.

Never hesitate to blow anyone off. Only three or four people at most in your life will be worth hanging on to anyway, and those that are will forgive you.

Remember that life ain't nothin' 'cept bitches and money.

Revel in indulgent emotions. But don't expect anyone else to play along. However, don't give a fuck when they try to tell you what you're doing wrong.

Never listen to anyone, including me, your friends (we're not friends), your parents, etc...

Play darts while you drink beer. It helps pass the time.

Go to hell.

On the way, have a beer.

If you don't like beer, drink 40's. It's even better.

Avoid warm beer. It's gross.

Don't drink it like the Germans do. Unless you like that sort of thing.

Never do more work than you are being paid for, unless you're trying to overachieve.

Remember that no one likes overachievers, as they are assholes.

Remember that a lot of things are for assholes.

If you're wondering, you're probably an asshole.

Remember that there are far worse things than being an asshole. But you're probably several of those, too.

If you think this entry is about you specifically, bear in mind that-

A) You're wrong, you egocentric little fuckwad.

B) You're obviously too full of yourself, and therefore an asshole, and therefore this entry does apply to you in general if not specific.

Try to remember that I am the most important person in my world, and plan accordingly.

Be the most important person in your world. Who else will be? It causes imbalance.

I don't feel like explaining that last statement now.

You probably don't care anyway.

I think I'll quit for now. There's more to be said, but I'm tired of typing.

Ken

(That ought to keep the little SOB's happy for another few days.)

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!


powered by SignMyGuestbook.com