2001-07-12 - 10:06 p.m.
Dear Life-
Upon careful consideration, I've decided that I would like to request a minor change in the way you do business with regards to "life" (I use the term loosely).
No, I'm not asking for things to be easier. I believe that I may in fact, be able to handle all the nastiness you throw my way. I am more than willing to make mistakes, screw things up, have others screw things up for me, get my heart broken, get my bones broken, endure the hatred of others, endure the apathy of others, handle the minor inconveniences, handle the major inconveniences, deal with my own incompetence and the problems it will cause, deal with the incompetence of others and the problems it will cause, let my life be slowed to a crawl by the inabilities and inconvenient behavior of others, get beaten up, bet beaten down, bang my head on the glass ceiling, stand on the outside looking in, botch things, choke under pressure, inadvertantly hurt those I love most, get hurt (inadvertantly and advertantly) by those I love most, get bucked off the horse, then have it kick me in the shoulder (true story), and I'm even willing to learn from all this badness and allow it to make me appreciate the goodness even more. And I'll do it all with a minimum of whining and complaining, except in here, which is fine because it's my diary and my business and if'n people don't like what they read, they can read something else. It's not my job to be entertaining all the time. Just in person.
My request, however, is that maybe all these things could be spaced out just a smidgen more. INstead of allowing us mere humans two or three really good days, like that last few have been, and then giving us a day like the last 24 hours of my life, the kind that end with newscasters reporting on the scene of a horrific suicide in which a man has locked himself in a room with a wolverine on PCP...anyway, instead of all that, how about spacing out the bad a little more. How about this....
Three to four consecutive days where nothing is exceptionally great, but only a couple things a day go particularly wrong or bad, so that these crises can be dealt with as they come up. YOu know. Maybe Monday I do something stupid and upset my girlfriend. Then Tuesday I have a bad day at work. Then Wednesday my credit card bill arrives, then Thursday I hurt myself working out. And then maybe a day at the end of all that where the accumulated good stuff all happens on that one magical day. I get to go on vacation for a bit and spend quality time with someone I love.
I think this setup would be a lot better for all concerned, because A) the overall level of frustration would lessen a bit, because things wouldn't become too overwhelming on any given day, B) We'd become much tougher and able to deal with the little things if we got constant practice doing them (right now, you're expecting to whip us into shape with one heavy workout a day, followed by long periods of rest. No, we need a light workout everyday to get into shape) and C) we really would come to appreciate the good things you have to offer even more when we have that one good day a week to look forward to.
Admittedly, this whole, idealistic, little kid bit of babble has been a long way of saying that I had a really bad day today, (although hopefully in a way that is at least a little bit less whiny and annoying than most other ways. I realize it probably isn't, but at least it's more entertaining that "Dear Diary. Today Sucked. I want to kill myself." At least I don't come across sounding like a teenage girl who believes her life is ruined because she slipped and fell on her ass in front of some "hot guy" she likes, one who is never going to do anything but use her as a warm hole, and she won't learn from that mistake, and continue chasing these bastards, all the while proclaiming that she just wants to find a "nice, smart guy with a sense of humor" and in the meantime continuing to get passed around between the members of the football team like a one-hitter at a wake+bake....but I digress.)
Sorry about the above parenthetical. I didn't date a lot in high school. And, truth be told, for very good reasons. I wasn't always the suave, sophisticated guy you see before you. I was such a chode in high school, there were days when I couldn't even tie my shoes properly to save my life.
And yeah, Life, I know that days like today are your way of reminding me that no matter how cool I might be now, I'm always going to be that stupid kid in high school at least some of the time. And I'll deal with that, too.
But think about what I said. It doesn't always have to be like some godawful country song where everything goes wrong all at once.....
Respectfully,
Ken
"Our life is so confusing/no reason and no rhyme/we've got this funny feeling/getting old before our time..."
�
