2001-06-27 - 10:43 a.m.
Hey, Ken, how's it going?
All right, Ken. YOurself?
Just fine. What's the plan for today?
Well, I figured we'd do a little Q+A (hence the title) session, maybe even get into that overflowing mailbag a bit.
What overflowing mailbag? The only mail you ever get is from people wanting you to give them money.
Yeah. I wish my damn parents would get off my back about that.
I'm curious as to why you haven't written details on your great American Great America expedition. DIdn't everything go well?
Oh, yeah. Everything was great. It was actually one of the best days of my life, ever. But you still don't get sordid details.
Why not?
Three reasons-
A) After baring my soul once or twice, I've decided to be a little more privatized about my deepest inner feelings for a while, at least until people stop accusing me of going soft. I'll share these things personally with people I choose.
B) I don't wanna make anyone sick.
C) Most people who read this also read Tammy's diary anyway, so the last thing they need is the same story twice.
Hey, do you ever ponder the whole million monkeys at a million typewriters thing with these diaries?
How do you mean?
Well, if people keep writing diaries on-line like this, at some point, don't you think it would be possible that someone would write an entry that was the exact same, word for word, as an entry that had already been posted by someone else?
Well, it's entirely possible. I wonder what would happen then. We probably wouldn't even know it happened. And there'd be no way to verify that it wasn't just copied word for word, either. Still, it's an interesting thought.
What about music?
What about it?
Well, there's a finite number of musical notes and tones, right?
Yes.
And a finite number of lines and spaces on the staff.
Yes.
And a finite number of different time signatures.
Yes.
And a finite number of patterns you could string notes together in.
Yes. Where are you going with this?
So isn't it basically true that there is a finite amount of new music that can be composed? THere are only so many ways you can combine the notes and the rhythms and the keys and stuff to create something new. So what happens when it's all been written?
Ken, that wouldn't happen for a long time. LIke, billions of years. Do you know how many possibilities you can create in musical composition?
Yeah, I do. It's trillions of googleplexes, but the point is, it's not an infinite number of patterns, is it?
No, it is finite.
Therefore, and end can be reached. So what would happen at the end of it?
Umm....the Grammy becomes an even more worthless and unrespected award than it already is?
See, now you're delving into the realm of impossibility.
But the same could be said for words, too. There are only so many words in the English language. So many letters in the English alphabet. So many different types of punctuation marks. So therefore, there are only so many ways of putting them together. After a point, you're just repeating established patterns.
True. And, more importantly, the number of combinations that can be formed that make sense AND don't suck is even further limited.
True. Just because I can still write a sentence no one has ever written before, like
Bladder headphone for Monkey preset, button, "Sunglass Jeans!"
doesn't mean that I should, or that it's worthwhile for me to do so.
Dude! DOn't ever do that again! You've just eliminated another possible combination. You're contributing to the Entropy of Communication.
OH MY GOD!!! You're right!!! I've just taken mankind one step closer to not being to write anything new!!! What the hell was I thinking!?! Hey, the same holds true with music, right?
Yeah. Just cause there's still a new song that you could write doesn't mean it would be any better than that damn sentence you wrote above.
Oh, come on. I could write the musical equivalent of that and just call it "Alternative"
Alternative to what?
Umm...judging by the work of most "Alternative" bands, I would have to say that they're the "Alternative" to good music.
You realize that what you're saying makes groups like Shaggy and Foreigner "Alternative" musicians, right?
Yeah. By the way, I love the quote marks around every instance of the word "Alternative."
Yeah, the just kind of creep up on you, don't they? So since our definition of "Alternative" music means that actually the vast majority of musicians are "ALternative" doesn't that mean that "Alternative" is not the right term for it? I mean, it's not the "Alternative" then, is it? It's what everyone is doing.
Yeah, I suppose you're right. After all, it's not called an "Alternative" lifestyle because 9/10 of the world is gay, is it?
Exactly. So what should we call it?
WHo cares? This line of thought has gone on long enough. Not that it matters, though. NO one is still reading this garbage anyway.
What shall we talk about now?
Why can't they just bribe that fifth dentist so that they'll all recommend Trident?
Okay, if we're reaching that far, it's time to just go.
All right.
Ken and Ken
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