2001-03-08 - 20:50pm
So lately I find myself logging in here, and then sitting in front of the keyboard, trying to think of something to write about. It's the damndest feeling. I haven't felt so at a loss for words in a long time.
Actually, that's a lie. It's not that I'm at a loss for words, it's just that the words that spring to mind are ones that I don't want to put down here, cause they all deal with real feelings and emotions about things that actually matter, and anyone who knows me knows that I always keep that stuff bottled up inside, anyway. Sometimes I'm tempted to write those things down here, but I don't.
Why not, Ken?
Well, let's face it- Good looks and complex human emotions simply don't mix. If I were to actually let people in on how I'm really feeling right now, as opposed to just making a few smart remarks about the current events in my life, they might start to see me as a complete human being, instead of the hollow, yet charismatic shell of a man that I am. After all, it's been told to me that my lot in life is to be an entertainer, so all I should do is entertain, right?
Plus, talking about how you're really feeling right now would make you sound like a whiner, Ken.
True, there is that, Ken, and whiners are never very entertaining. Plus, there's the fact that people actually read this crap, and if I felt comfortable with them knowing stuff like this, it would stand to reason, since I am not one who is afflicted with stage fright, that I would just tell people in person the kinds of things I'd write about.
True, true, although asking people if you can vent emotions to them also is a bit selfish, whereas no one forces anyone to read this. So what are you going to do about it, Ken?
The same thing I do all the time, Pinky- bottle it up and don't talk about it. Try to pretend it's not there.
Fine plan, Dr. Dillon. Can you remember back when you wanted to be a doctor?
Yes, I remember that time well. Before I took my first anatomy/physiology class and discovered that I had no interest in how the human body operates, which makes it hard to be motivated enough to be a doctor.
You were a pretty stupid kid, Ken.
I'm a pretty stupid adult, Ken. Some things never change, eh? So what's new in your pitiful little world?
I got to do an improvised scene from Hamlet today in auditioning. You know the one where Hamlet tells Ophelia that he never loved her, calls her a slut and a traitor, and tells her, "Get thee to a nunnery?" Ken had us do an improv as those characters with those same objectives and endowments. I had the people in the audience wanting Ophelia to slap me, I was so mean to her.
Like I've said before, Ken, no one plays a better bad-guy than you. You have really mastered your Stanislavski, haven't you?
Yep. Whenever I need to be mean and cold on stage, I just think of all the people I hate and want to kill to get me in the right mood.
Looking forward to spring break?
Yep, going to get in a week's worth of quality time with my big/best friend Brook, since he'll be here, too.
Will it be just the two of you?
Nah, some other people will be there, but Brook is the only one that really counts. The rest of them can do their own thing. I just want to hang with Brook. And maybe do some homework.
Really?
Yeah, I have a couple things to prepare for auditioning class over the break, and I figure I'll get that done. OTherwise, it'll be eat, sleep, watch wrestling videos, play video games, and wish I was at my family reunion, meeting my sister.
Sounds like a fine break, Ken.
Yeah, I guess it could be worse.
Ken
�
