2001-01-31 - 17:34:16
Wow, it really has been a bit of time since I last updated this monstrosity, hasn't it? Where to begin? Ummm....I made my radio debut on Monday night (I have a weekly radio show now with Missy. That's in addition to being on TV.)
It was a bit nerve-wracking at first, especially since Missy's microphone was out of order for the first half hour or so, so I got to make my debut completely alone. Otherwise, it was great. I had a lot of fun, Missy was an amazing technician (she handles the cueing of songs and such, while I talk a lot and read the Public Service Announcements. I works out well. Between the two of us, we're almost a whole person.) And I didn't run out of things to say, as I'd feared I would. Hell, I could have gone for another hour or two. Anyhow, it was truly wonderful. Too bad no one listened.....Well, actually, one or two did. At one point I think we had as many as 5 listeners, but many of them tuned out after about 10 minutes. The goal for next show is to actually have at least three people listening at any one time.
Statewide Auditions are in a week and a half. I have to prepare a resume and stuff. Hey, I know some of my faithful readers are also aspiring actors out there. I had a question about resume preparation. I'm neither a gymnast nor an exceptionally talented acrobat. I'm just really good at falling down in hideous looking ways without getting injured. Well, at least, without getting injured seriously. Not often, at least. Anyhow, I don't want to list "Tumbling" or "Acrobatics" under "Special Skills" on my resume, because I don't want to decieve them into thinking that I can do backflips and stuff, but I do want them to be aware that on-stage falling is a specialty of mine. So what should I list? "Falling" just makes me sound weird. Maybe "Wrestling" and "Stage Combat?" Would that cover enough ground that "Falling" and "Getting Hurt" would be assumed to be skills I have? Anyone have an answer for me?
Sorry, I'm rambling now. I'm nervous. Not quite at the nervous, "Oh God, I'm never going to get cast in anything, ever." stage of preparations yet, but I can feel it coming on. I think that while I'm in Madison next weekend, I'll stop at the four star restaurants and see if any of them are taking applications for a waiter over the summer. Figure it'd save me some time.....
Last night we watched Coyote Ugly in the lounge. I love that movie. And not just for the hot chicks dancing on a bar in wet t-shirts. (Although that certainly doesn't hurt) No, I love it because of two things. A, the male lead reads comic books, like me, and still manages to bag an extraordinarily hot woman, which gives me hope that maybe something like that can happen in real life (which it can't by the way. Women just don't go for guys who read comic books. But I can pretend they might.) And B, John Goodman is in the movie, and he kicks ass. John Goodman is my hero (one of them, anyway). I've decided I'm going to be the next John Goodman. I figure it'll be easy. If I gain 10 more pounds, I'll look exactly like him (Actually, that's a wee bit of an exaggeration. I'm fat, but I'm not quite THAT fat. It'd take at least 15 extra pounds.). Then I could get a job in Vegas as a John Goodman impersonator. Then, things can only go up for me. Or down into the despairing world of cheap sex (read- prostitution) and drug addiction, but if that happens, at least I'll have a couple of new hobbies, right? Either way, it's a win/win situation.
A thought just occured to me. What if I tried to be like all my heroes at once? A guy the size of John Goodman, flying around the ring like Jeff Hardy, sleeping with more women than James Bond....okay, I'm going to stop right there, because this has already gotten too weird, even for me.
Now I have to read the Iliad. Most of it, anyway. Happy Epicing!
Ken
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