2001-01-27 - 17:38:23
So I wrote out this lovely new entry for the diary, then, like an idiot, accidently closed my browser before actually posting it. Now I feel really dumb, which is kind of ironic, since most of the entry I had prepared dealt with how I'm not feeling especially clever today, which made me nervous, because the auditions for the improv TV show are in a little over an hour.
I got overdrawn at my Bank of Witty last night heckling porn in the lounge. I tell you, you haven't lived until you've watched and ridiculed porn on a 72" TV, especially if you get to watch it with the people I got to watch it with (an ex, two lesbians, and the guy who will be my tag-team partner in the WWF, for a start)
By the way, Mark, if you're reading this, you are forbidden from ever being the one to pick out the porn ever again. That was terrible stuff. (Note to the wise- Wicked Weapon is just evil)
Anyhow, I have to start feeling funny again damn soon, or I'm going to embarass myself out there (unintentionally this time)
Statewide auditions are in a couple weeks, too. I have to find myself another monologue. Statewides have always seemed like a bit of a waste to me. I mean, why should I pay $30 and drive all the way to Madison to get to audition for 2 minutes, and then get rejected, when, here in Ripon, I can go down for free, get to audition for half an hour total (multiple readings), then get rejected. It seems like the better deal is here in Ripon, and if I can get rejected here, I can get rejected anywhere. And they say I need professional audition experience. I mean, how much experience does one need with the word "no" once they understand what it means? (And guys, no does not mean "maybe" or "talk me into it" Women tell me that playing hard to get is just a tactic the movie industry made up and that no one does it in real life. Now I'm depressed. Here I thought I was popular, and it turns out that they really do hate me.)
So, since I have so many dedicated female readers, some of whom I'll never see face to face, I have to ask all of you a bit of advice. My wonderful mother's 50th birthday is coming up in less than a month, and I'm stuck for an idea for what to get her. See, my mom and I actually get along, not like me and my idiot sister. Help? Please? I'm never good at finding gifts for women. E-mail me or sign the guestbook with suggestions. I'd appreciate it.
I'm sleepy now. I'm going to take a nap.
Ken
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