2001-01-06 - 12:33:45
Hey everybody, how's it going? Sorry it's been a few days, but I haven't felt like writing anything down here lately (cause you all would read it) Still blue, but I'm trying to shake it off.
Yesterday was Brian's last day in town. He took off this morning. So did Barbara. I feel more alone now. But since I was already really sad, at least I don't feel that much worse.
Yesterday I got a call out of the blue from my little brother. He's not really my brother, that's just how he's referred to, cause Eric's a couple years younger than I am. It was a pleasant suprise to hear from him, since it's been about a year since we last talked. We played Frisbee in the park. It was tons of fun. But Frisbee is always like that- fun and pain all wrapped up in a soft taco shell and served with salsa.
Late last night I went to see Traffic with Brian and a friend of his from school. Kick-ass movie. Yeah, it's almost three hours long, but it's well worth it. Quality story, solid acting, and the debates it can spark will keep you amused for hours. Or at least too busy trying to bludgeon your own point of view into someone's elses head to notice where the time is going.
Okay, I'm going to get stupid(er) for a minute and talk about something that occupied my mind for about 3 hours last night. When I was younger, (and sometimes even now, although this was easier when I was in high school) I used to play a game in my head wherein I tried to formulate hypothesis about a person I didn't know based solely on visual info from them (i.e., I would try to decipher personality, attitude, philosophies, musical tastes, etc., based solely on the way a person looked (typical facial expressions, taste in clothing) and how they carried themselves (how they walked, stood, etc)) I typically did this at the beginning of a school year, and then I would keep checking back to this mental list of guesses as I got to know the people, just to see if I was right or not. (am I the only person who's ever done something like this?) Don't get me wrong, I wasn't deciding if I liked a person or not, I was just playing around to see how much of the books plot is actually given away by the cover. Like I said, it's not feasible now that I'm not in high school anymore, but you know how people used to be in high school. 90% of the time, I wasn't far off.
Anywho, the reason I'm rambling about this is that I was at a friend's place looking at old yearbooks, and we flipped through our freshman year, and I saw a picture of me as a freshman, which was the first time I'd seen that particular picture in about four years. We made typical comments about how much younger we both looked, then moved on to something else, and I didn't think anything more about it.
Then last night, I was washing my face before bed, and I looked in the mirror, and I guess I was still carrying the mental image of my freshman picture with me because I didn't recognize myself for a minute. Stupid, I know, but the person I saw in the mirror looked very little like the one in the yearbook. 13 year old Ken was shorter, with a lot more babyfat and a lot less muscle on him (If you think I'm fat now, you should have seen me then....) His eyes were differently hued, his hair was lighter, and it was cut and styled differently. He had no goatee, and there sure as hell wasn't a giant scar on his scalp (although the ones on his lip and nose were much more prominent) He wore glasses, dressed completely differently, and his hair was always out of place (13 year old Ken hadn't discovered the joys of brushing one's hair)
If someone had shown 13 year old Ken a picture of Ken now, he wouldn't in a million years have believed they were the same person. But that got me wondering (and this is the point to all this crap) If 13 year old Ken had been sitting in his freshman bio class on the first day of the year, playing his little game, and Ken Now had walked into that classroom, what would I have guessed about myself? About my taste in music, movies, etc? Would I have been right about any of it?
"Wow, that guy looks like the kind of guy women might actually take an interest in."
See, 10% of the time I was completely off base. :)
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