2000-12-17 - 03:53:47
I am single again in every sense of the world. My girlfriend and I broke up this morning, and my roommate moved out this morning. I went from feeling like the world was crowding in all over me to feeling like the world is this vast, empty place, all in a span of less than two hours. Guess that should teach me a lesson about liking where I am. Wait, I did like where I was.
Maybe the real lesson that should be learned here is that life-shattering changes can occur really suddenly, or at least, that they seem to. I mean, I knew that George was leaving today, and I've known that for a couple months now. And it's not like I didn't see the breakup coming a mile away, either. It's just that changes like this don't sink in until they've actually happened, and then they seem like they came suddenly, from out of nowhere and hit you like a dead fish to the back of the head. Stunning, is the word I think describes this.
I spent the day working in my new room, making it mine (not like that! I didn't pee all over everything. I just reorganized furniture, expanded my stuff to fill the empty space. You know how it is.)
I'm confused. I don't know if I'm happy or sad or hungry right now (alhough I'm pretty sure that I'm hungry, regardless of whether or not I'm happy or sad.). Normally, I like my alone time. But I think's that's when it comes of my own choosing. I don't think I like having alone forced on me. It kind of blows. I miss my goddess. Times like this are when I wish I could cry, cause I probably would.
I apologize for the lack of humor in this entry. I apologize to those of you who were coming here to read this because you expected something amusing and entertaining. No, wait, why am I apologizing? This is my diary, and i'll write whatever the hell I want! No one is forcing you to read this. If you don't like it, I've got just two words for ya- SUCK IT!!!
Wow, I've never had a mood swing while I was typing before. Please disregard the "suck it" part of the message. I really am sorry if I'm depressing anyone and/or making them sick. I think I'll quit now. It's time for bed.
Ken
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